𝑺𝒖𝒛𝒚 𝐁𝐞𝐫𝐥𝐢𝐧𝐬𝐤𝐲

𝑺𝒖𝒛𝒚 𝐁𝐞𝐫𝐥𝐢𝐧𝐬𝐤𝐲 Jun 27

CHART AND MONITOR YOUR CAT'S BOWEL MOVEMENTS WITH A COMPUTER! The future has arrived! Hey! Your cat just "pinched a loaf"! How do you know that?! I saw it on my computer!

pinch a loaf (third-person singular simple present pinches a loaf, present participle pinching a loaf, simple past and past participle pinched a loaf)

(euphemistic) To defecate.
Synonyms: pinch one off, drop a load; see also Thesaurus: defecate

𝑺𝒖𝒛𝒚 𝐁𝐞𝐫𝐥𝐢𝐧𝐬𝐤𝐲 Jun 27

BRANCH FORT TEE SEVEN

HOW MY AUNT SURVIVED A BRUTAL LESBIAN ATTACK - It rained for 5 months non-stop and there wasn't a dry lesbian anywhere. My aunt had managed to keep her underwear dry by utilizing an old Comanche technique that no Apache was allowed to use. One day, after her dog was eaten by a Pygmy, Aunt Joan shot a wet lesbian from across the street. This "****" earned her a first-place trophy from the Audubon Society, branch 47, Newark, California.

𝑺𝒖𝒛𝒚 𝐁𝐞𝐫𝐥𝐢𝐧𝐬𝐤𝐲 Jun 27

“Get the ball!” Is yelled at rugby games. That's what the players need: lest they should forget the ball. You had the ball--and you threw it away...

𝑺𝒖𝒛𝒚 𝐁𝐞𝐫𝐥𝐢𝐧𝐬𝐤𝐲 Jun 27

I'M NOT UNGRATEFUL! I love my transplanted lungs. I can smoke two cigars and a pipe at the same time without puking. I just wish my mom were alive so she could be here not dead.

THE LUNCH TRUCK - I have a lunch truck. What's that? It's a special truck for eating lunch in. May I eat mine in there? Sure. Where do I sit? There's no chair. You stand. It's S.R.O., standing room only.

BEARS IN DANGER - To preserve my lungs from frequent usage, I choose to live underwater a lot. Usually when nobody's looking I "breathe" straight water, extracting oxygen like fish do. When I'm breathing on land, I attack grizzly bears and eat them, spitting ****** bear guts everywhere.

𝑺𝒖𝒛𝒚 𝐁𝐞𝐫𝐥𝐢𝐧𝐬𝐤𝐲 Jun 27

THE DEAF AND GAY GYM TEACHER

Hand me 𝘛𝘩𝘦 𝘕𝘦𝘸 𝘋𝘦𝘢𝘧 𝘎𝘺𝘮 𝘛𝘦𝘢𝘤𝘩𝘦𝘳 𝘎𝘢𝘺𝘯𝘦𝘴𝘴 𝘎𝘶𝘪𝘥𝘦 please. The 𝘸𝘩𝘢𝘵...? You heard me! No I didn't! Yes you did! Hey! Who's the gay one here?!

𝑺𝒖𝒛𝒚 𝐁𝐞𝐫𝐥𝐢𝐧𝐬𝐤𝐲 Jun 27

RICH PEOPLE HAVING *** TOGETHER

Pass the lubrication jelly. No, I won't. Why not? Because I'm always doing it. What about last time? Didn't I reach over a dead body to get it for you? I guess so. Okay. Here it is. Really? Was that so hard? Was 𝘸𝘩𝘢𝘵 so hard? If I wasn't rich, I would leave right now.

𝑺𝒖𝒛𝒚 𝐁𝐞𝐫𝐥𝐢𝐧𝐬𝐤𝐲 Jun 27

🌌𝗧𝗿𝘂𝗲 𝗯𝗹𝘂𝗲 𝗲𝘆𝗲 𝗴𝗹𝗮𝘀𝘀𝗲𝘀, 𝗱𝗶𝘀𝘁𝗿𝗶𝗯𝘂𝘁𝗲𝗱 𝗶𝗻 𝗯𝗹𝗶𝗻𝗱 𝗰𝗹𝗮𝘀𝘀𝗲𝘀, 𝗰𝗮𝘂𝘀𝗲 𝗮𝘀𝘀-𝗿𝗮𝘀𝗵𝗲𝘀.🌌

𝗦𝘁𝗼𝗽 𝘀𝗮𝘆𝗶𝗻𝗴: "𝗟𝗲𝘁 𝗺𝗲 𝗮𝘀𝗸 𝘆𝗼𝘂 𝗮 𝗾𝘂𝗲𝘀𝘁𝗶𝗼𝗻" & "𝗟𝗲𝘁 𝗺𝗲 𝗯𝗲
𝗵𝗼𝗻𝗲𝘀𝘁 𝘄𝗶𝘁𝗵 𝘆𝗼𝘂"! 𝗪𝗵𝗲𝗻 𝘆𝗼𝘂 𝘀𝗮𝘆 𝘁𝗵𝗲𝘀𝗲 𝗰𝗿𝗮𝘇𝘆 𝘁𝗵𝗶𝗻𝗴𝘀
𝗺𝘆 𝗯𝗼𝘄𝗲𝗹𝘀 𝗳𝗼𝗿𝗺 𝗼𝗯𝘀𝘁𝗿𝘂𝗰𝘁𝗶𝘃𝗲 𝗸𝗻𝗼𝘁𝘀 𝘁𝗵𝗮𝘁 𝗳𝗼𝗿𝗰𝗲 𝗺𝘆
𝗳𝗮𝘁𝘁𝗲𝗿𝘂𝗿𝗶𝗻𝗮𝗿𝘆 𝗯𝗹𝗮𝗱𝗱𝗲𝗿 𝘁𝗼 𝗽𝘂𝗳𝗳 𝘂𝗽 𝗹𝗮𝗿𝗴𝗲 & 𝘀𝗽𝗮𝘁𝘁𝗲𝗿.