I recalled many disturbingly stupid memories of yesterday as commies and pseudo-women surrounded my yacht, clawing and spewing and irritating my rash with allergens. I'll never grow peanuts for butter again since Jimmy Carter crapped out recently alone because his wife stopped breathing. She was a goodly woman, mysteriously endowed with luscious **** and a reliable lower bowel that made sailors crazy.

I'll never forget the first time I drank a glass of tap water in the woods with Jimi Hendrix. I was living in the woods with stinking, ****** hippies when a hippie poured for me a glass of municipal water. Even though I didn't see what the big deal was, I've not drank city water since. Is that Jimi Hendrix? No, it's only a rotting oak tree stump. ****!