THE MYSTERIOUS POPULARITY OF BURGER KING'S RAT-**** BURGER - Is that a rat-**** burger? It sure is. I heard they're mysteriously popular. They are. My uncle used to *** on flowers before rolling on the ground because he had epilepsy. Your uncle sounds like a really cool dude. He was.
IN THE SONG "Me and Bobby McGee," Janis Joplin warbled: "We sang every song that ****** knew," till Kris Kristofferson had a hissy fit about it. "Alright, I'll change it to ๐ฅ๐ณ๐ช๐ท๐ฆ๐ณ!" She said because Willie Nelson was her secret lover.
THE THREE SELFLESSLY-AMAZING THINGS THAT I'VE DONE FOR YOU LATELY (1) I lifted you back up from the bottom of the Grand Canyon after you fell into it, hitting the floor at two hundred miles an hour. (2) I bought rock-hard **** implants for you after yours got banged up badly on the canyon cliff rocks. (3) I made passionate love to your sister to ease her troubled mind because she was ****** up in the head very badly before I jumped her bones in the Subaru when nobody was looking.
THE SINGING RAPISTS OF MERCY LAND - Three women, all ex-lesbians, mounted the dead cowboy's naked corpse like pagan animals. "This is sickening," one of them ******* while the other two engaged in lezzy *** even though they weren't supposed to. "I hate all ex-lesbians!" The third cousin of the lead ex-lesbian proclaimed in a naughtily haughty way that made Tom, an ex-lesbian lover, so jealous that he jumped off the tippy top of the Empire State Building several times, nearly killing himself.
UNDER MY SWOLLEN TOE is another swollen toe fused to the upper one. How the **** did that grow there???!!!! It's like a mystery wrapped in an anti-lesbian Christmas card blessed by Jimmy Swaggart.
AFTER DICTIONARIES WERE INVENTED BY NOAH WEBSTER he would run around without pants on, yelling: "Kiss my fat ***, I'm Noah Webster!" People didn't like him for that until years later when Noah Webster, Junior started throwing hot ***** on people at the bus stop.
THE EARLY ELVIS - What's your new song called? "Take off your Underpants Donna." Let's hear it. Do you like it? Yes, it's pretty good. But? But what? Do you really want to use that title? Yes. What would you call it? I'd call it, "Take off your Underpants Stephanie."