𝑺𝒖𝒛𝒚 𝐁𝐞𝐫𝐥𝐢𝐧𝐬𝐤𝐲

𝑺𝒖𝒛𝒚 𝐁𝐞𝐫𝐥𝐢𝐧𝐬𝐤𝐲 Feb 28

🔧 I ESCAPED FROM YOUR CLUTCHES after beating your neighbor unconscious with a pair of cracked crutches.

𝑺𝒖𝒛𝒚 𝐁𝐞𝐫𝐥𝐢𝐧𝐬𝐤𝐲 Feb 28

Dad bought me a manure seed-remover for Easter, and I love it! Now I can remove seeds from manure without getting **** under my nails!

𝑺𝒖𝒛𝒚 𝐁𝐞𝐫𝐥𝐢𝐧𝐬𝐤𝐲 Feb 28

Jesus was a happy Judean baby who could run, jump and play at an early age. See: 𝘛𝘩𝘦 𝘍𝘪𝘳𝘴𝘵 𝘎𝘰𝘴𝘱𝘦𝘭 𝘰𝘧 𝘵𝘩𝘦 𝘐𝘯𝘧𝘢𝘯𝘤𝘺 𝘰𝘧 𝘑𝘦𝘴𝘶𝘴 𝘊𝘩𝘳𝘪𝘴𝘵 [apocryphal scripture]

𝑺𝒖𝒛𝒚 𝐁𝐞𝐫𝐥𝐢𝐧𝐬𝐤𝐲 Feb 28

Jesus was a beardless baby in Israel

SANTA CLAUS WISHED EVERY ELF A HAPPY CHRISTMAS while generously patting Donna Claus (his wife) on the ****. It would be a fruitful celebration of Jesus when He was a beardless baby in Israel. Donna knitted little woolen bikini ******* for each ******. They were itchy as hell but tougher than rail-tie spikes.

𝑺𝒖𝒛𝒚 𝐁𝐞𝐫𝐥𝐢𝐧𝐬𝐤𝐲 Feb 28

I just discovered that the original owner of the Villages in Florida was a Pygmy cannibal who routinely ate residents between midnight and 5 o'clock, which is why we haven't seen grandma in 14 years.

𝑺𝒖𝒛𝒚 𝐁𝐞𝐫𝐥𝐢𝐧𝐬𝐤𝐲 Feb 28

"Shades" by Iggy Pop

I could have had a problem
I might have never followed through
The other guys are in trouble
They wouldn't listen to a girl like you
These shades say something
I'll bet they cost a lot
I hope I don't break them
I hope we don't break up

𝑺𝒖𝒛𝒚 𝐁𝐞𝐫𝐥𝐢𝐧𝐬𝐤𝐲 Feb 28

My dream is to convert a motorhome into a school bus.