Disney destroyed maternal worries with furnace asphyxiants of gas,
proving that lungs full of carbon monoxide fumes ain't going to last
to see '39 as '38 wafted by in a whiff of monoxidized demise so fast
for those who cartoonize the near-future, animate God's distant past
so as to demand that Rabbi Shimon's Apocalypse tribes be amassed
to pike the head of Charlie Watts as El Shaddai can never be sassed
before a Satanical/congregational flock of U.S.'s pornocratical cast
conjuring underneath a devilishly-****** act's pornographical blast
framed as merry mix-ups the queerest of collusions that flabbergast
regardless of America's oldest race-baitin' chigger's homosexual past
as a Georgia state assembly guy whom toothless ****** outclassed

Oh **** Kiki Ebsen, let's love forever the dead Larry, Moe & Curly
& their lower Australian counterparts: the scuzzy Fairy, ** & Girly
who gulp milk with hens' eggs knowing that not 1 dairy foe is burly
as I wanna see H.P.V. vaccine-pricking-swine Rick Perry goin' surly
like Squiggy might've on Garry Marshall's show Laverne & Shirley
starring Cindy Williams & Penny Marshall whose teeth ain't pearly,
& who in heels & padded bra passes as the twin of Jo Anne Worley
in 1963 when cream was in glass bottles & menopause started early
enough for Lee Oswald before The Eye Shadows backed Merle Lee

BIG DAN ALWAYS ENCOURAGED MIGRATORY BIRDS to build nests in his skull. 1 day, as he was beating an arrogant Burger King cook to death with a fly swatter, Jesus appeared out of nowhere. "Look out Jesus!" Big Dan warned like he was going to **** Jesus next. Jesus just stared at him. "My Dad will kick your ***!" The Lord exclaimed and He meant it. "I ain't afraid!" Big Dan shot back like he was tougher than Richard Simmons and *** Wee Herman combined to form a super ****** or something.

HOW TO ENLARGE YOUR PROSTATE EVEN IF YOU DON'T HAVE ONE! Don't eat food that looks like it came from Burger King. Date women from foreign countries (except Canada). Pick a fight with ghetto Negroes and then disarm them with secret Kung Fu moves that will leave them permanently crippled till they die.

HOW I LEARNED TO SLEEP UNDERWATER TO HIDE FROM THE MAFIA! It wasn't easy at first (coming up for air twice per minute) but eventually I mastered the art of staying underwater for 45 seconds (thereby cutting my breathing-time by 12%). Now I'm safe and secure, knowing that if I ever come across a Mafia killer again I can easily escape by submerging myself completely underwater until he goes away in total frustration like the ******* that he is.