GET YOUR HELMET PUDDING today for 30%-off. Moisturize you scalp with Dan's Amazing Helmet Pudding (also relieves ***** rot & **** scaling). Does a family member or loved one of yours suffer from toe fall-off? Have you ever woke up with eight toes even though you went to sleep with nine or ten? Dan's Amazing Helmet Pudding can re-grow a toe in three days. Simply apply the pudding after urinating with a paint brush and wait for the magic to happen. "I fell in love with Dan's Amazing Helmet Pudding and it made me pregnant!" - Claudia Watkins (Waycross, Georgia); "My dad tried to gouge my eyes out with a fishing rod, but fortunately I had enough of Dan's Amazing Helmet Pudding left to throw into his eyes and permanently blind him forever, if not longer!" - Kim Watkins (Claudia's cousin)

Hello! I am Nancy. I have large fish in my brain that eat a lot of my
brain. I get paid every 27 years & so I'm short on money today after
I gambled 8 million dollars and lost but tomorrow is a **** day for
nudies, freaks, weirdos, deviants & homosexual perverts. Let's give
each other back problems. Let's roll with the punches in swamps of
total dissatisfaction as we bathe each other in the big glow of Jesus.

I revere Pope Alexander's son Cesare Borgia as the Caucasian Jesus
'cause his pale mug on Christmas cards is the pale mug that pleases
we schlubs dining on rice & noodles topped with sixty-two cheeses
that attacks hearts pulsing for a Jehovah God who hears and sees us
& forgives us our frailties, our burps, belches, nose hairs & sneezes
in the belly of this tundra where whatever we puke instantly freezes
after quivering like pudding being gagged by consumptive wheezes
mirroring divorced forces ruinous to wives who were John Cleese's
street-walking, clap-ridden, bone-eating, mongrel-dog-faced nieces
who like Walter Sickert's Jack the Ripper would rip you into pieces
then steal your 100-trillion-dollar-Hispaniola-oil-drilling-held leases