Spanish-American War Tax Still Being Collected!

WASHINGTON, D.C. -- The Spanish-American War ended in 1898. In fact, it only lasted from April to August of that year. But one thing has lived on longer than the participants in that war: a federal tax on telephones that was said to be "temporary."

Fortunately, U.S. Rep. Ed Royce (R-CA-39) today voted with the House to repeal the "tax on talking." Royce was a cosponsor of the bipartisan bill [H.R.3916] which passed by a vote of 420-2. The measure now moves to the Senate for consideration.

"Only Washington could extend a tax 102 years. And only Washington would think to tax talking. It’s so unbelievable that it’s a perfect candidate for ‘Ripley’s Believe It or Not’," Royce said. "I would think that after 102 years, we would have paid off the five months of the Spanish-American War. This tax should have ended with it."

Congress first enacted a telephone excise tax in order to help pay for the 1898 Spanish-American War, which lasted only five months. At the time, this "temporary" tax amounted to a penny on long-distance phone calls costing more than 15 cents. Over the years, the federal phone tax has survived efforts to phase it out and scale it back. Congress made it a permanent 3 percent tax on telecommunications services in 1990.

"What else is there on the books? A surcharge for the Civil War?* A tax to pay for World War I? Maybe there’s a tariff on candles to pay for the Revolutionary War still being collected," Royce said.

"The Spanish-American War ended more than 100 years ago; this tax should have ended with it," Royce said. "We must send a message that no longer will ‘temporary taxes’ be permanent. **** this unnecessary tax."

Of the 105.4 million households in America, 99.1 million (94 percent) have telephone service. This telephone tax repeal would provide tax relief to every one of those households. Additionally, due to the rapid pace of technological change, the difference between traditional telecommunications, the Internet and other technologies is increasingly unclear. If the federal phone tax remains on the books, it would jeopardize recent efforts to keep the Internet free from taxation.

*Actually, there is -- the estate tax (death tax) is a relic from the Civil War, and the first federal income tax began during that period.

Diabetic Floridians have traded their pancreatic souls for jelly rolls
while shimmying bloated groove things from crooked Citrus Bowls
to kick placenta-shaped globes through two sissified posts of goals
and fondling each other in and amongst obelisk football field poles,
in practice for the third to man righteous slots in State cheese doles
to boldly sashay on promenades with dogs called women for strolls
only to dine upon nature's bounty of termite larvae, slugs & moles,
from countrified cities and urban meadows to ship-beaching shoals
where myopic quasi-goats possess proto-goat gumption to eat trolls
In national shoe economy sectors it's advisable to rehabilitate soles
Remember the  Maine, to hell with Spain, explore passages or holes
as it was in 1943's Hit the Ice twixt Elyse Knox & Patric Knowles,
allowing Lou Costello to be raked over the flick's proverbial coals

Gerbils are just like you and me: out to make a buck. If you enjoy clawing your way up Richard Gere's ****, then you might be ready to make friends with Herb Paul, a gerbil that speaks 13 languages (not counting German). Herb was raised by Pygmy cannibals in Sumatra when he was little. He grew tall and firm on juicy rat-**** & monkey-****. 1 day, as Richard Gere was winning an academy award, Herb escaped. Gere's underwear drawer was searched thoroughly yet nothing was found. Later after that, Cindy Crawford chewed her way out of a canvas sack because she had sharp teeth and pink *******. (I saw them in 𝘗𝘭𝘢𝘺𝘣𝘰𝘺 magazine before Hugh Hefner died.)

For Lease: coal-fired tooth-brush washer! For 34 dollars per week you can lease a coal-fired tooth-brush cleaner that will clean your tooth-brush so effortlessly that you will wander off into the wilderness and get eaten by polar bears and nobody will ever see you again and not care anyway because they didn't like you at all to begin with (or in the first place), not even a little bit.