Never nut your butter under bread, my little L nut, M nut, P nut or I will go away today to saw a deep, tree-cut into your cheap, free ****.

“Honey, pass the crunchy peanut butter.” ~ “If you think that you are going to get away with dragging my reeking *** back from Tennessee like the last abusive biker then you better get a brand new brand of dandruff shampoo for your 'fro 'cause I ain't no *****'s hillbilly chill-monkey!” ~ “What?” ~ “Oh, nothing.”

~ Narelle Atkins' book Falling For the Farmer changed my outlook on farmers. I thought that they were all bloated, cow-****-stinking retardates married to toothless crones plagued with sub-clinical glandular abnormalities, syndromic mal-absorbtion complaints & chronic-fluid-retention problems. But, according to "Narelle," farmers can possess good qualities. Indeed, for any broad who'd choose to suffer with endometriosis forever rather than to roll in the hay with an analphabetic, sister-*******, tobacco-chawin' hayseed, this novel will plug (and clog) your barren ports tighter than a Cuban baseball. ¡Viva Fidel y su hermano Raúl más la revolución de Irán! Come on masons: Hurry up & bury Luciferian Billy F. Graham as I can't hold my bowels much longer! Hurry up & plant the self-professed-demon-possessed Robin F. Williams as I won't contain this bladder much longer! Demanding queers demand that the perfectly-normal commonweal of Wisconsin change its inoffensive name to Wussconsin.

SCARS!  SCARS!  SCARS!  SCARS!  SCARS!  SCARS!
SCARS!  SCARS!  S­CARS!  SCARS!  SCARS!  SCARS!
SCARS!  SCARS!  SCARS!  SCARS!  SCA­RS!  SCARS!

Enough with the SCARS!

HOW TO TURN ABANDONED WOMEN INTO TOP-NOTCH BROOM JOCKEYS [1 December on December first] - Women come in all colors except purple, orange, green, and a few others, but 1 thing is for sure: women are here to stay. Most women stretch out at 5 feet tall (or even taller when swinging from a chin-up bar). Women are trainable, that's been proven by renowned professors of course from important colleges in Europe. Never push a woman off the observation deck of the Empire State Building or off a Grand Canyon cliff ledge that's in excess of 200 feet high because God wouldn't approve because He made women for normal people and lesbians to pal around with. Do you think North & South Dakota will become 1 Dakota? "I don't need a money order or a personal check because I got Jesus, and if you don't like that you can go straight to hell!" Jimmy Swaggart warned Donnie, whose irresponsible spending ******* tons of feather-light people bound for Heaven.  I read about a liver doctor murdering a kidney doctor over their love for a foot doctor. Jimmy Swaggart and Judd Hirsch were born March 15, 1935. They'll probably not die on the same day.