“You'll not butcher this kitten!” She exclaimed forcefully. The butcher looked at her with steely eyes. “I will **** that kitten and drink its blood!” He said. “Hold on there a minute!” George Bush hollered. “My wife will **** you if I tell her to.” Barbara lifted her leg to scratch where it was itchy when Jeb walked in. “What's going on?” Jeb asked. “This butcher thinks that he can butcher kittens in front of me!” Barbara explained. “That's not right!” Jeb whimpered. Barbara took Jeb's manly hand. “Son,” she whispered, “your father and I have always been deeply in love with each other a lot.” Jeb looked directly into Barbara's 2 eyes. “I know, Mother, but I have the hots for ******* women.”

HAPPY TIMES AT LOWE'S - Shopping carts at Lowe's are
protected by bombs. "When one of our shopping carts goes
beyond the 400-foot perimeter, it explodes. The bomb is
a quarter-stick of dynamite. There will be needless
carnage till our thieving customers wise
up," owner Fred Lowe stated.