IN THE BATHROOM! Ronald McDonald's on-hold thick lawn mold captivated the burger chef who mixed it with pig-**** for an exciting flavor that tasted like a wet moon crater. But you can't land on the moon because it's just a vaporous steam-stream mural that depicts Orson Wells on a horse with bells trapped in a ragged Irish well lined with jagged sea shells.

IS CRACKED AND STAINED

and older than my dog Pokey who's 16. It all began 23 years ago when my grandmother and me were camping high above the Grand Canyon in Arizona on a rainy night. We had just said our nightly prayers, removed our dentures and were ready to sleep when a gang of mountain lions came out of nowhere (just like motorcyclists) and jumped on our tent, collapsing it instantly. In the darkness I grabbed grandma as a meat-offering because these cats were hungry. "Shut up! I have another grandmother!" I exclaimed during the excitement to calm granny down which didn't work anyway.

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CRAZY TAMMY CHEATS ON GORDON
"Oh Gordon," Tammy began, "I thought you were deeply in love with me? The way you painted my house; lifted my fat sister high above your head; punched my mother to make her stop breathing and then punched her again to make her start."
   Gordon looked astonished and amazingly **** with his long ***** and urbane mannerisms. "I'm going away Tammy to a *****-shortening clinic in another country."
   "Oh no Gordy! Please don't have your ***** shortened! I love it so much. It brings such comfort to me," Tammy sobbed while her medium-big ******* hardened like crazy.
   "Listen Tammy: my ***** is too long. Admit it. Two weeks ago a woman with a hairy crotch threatened me with birth-control pills for ten minutes. Ten minutes!"
   Tammy turned away ashamed. "That was me Gordy. I was wearing a fake crotch wig to fool you."
   Gordon chuckled at that. "Here," he said while offering his ***** to her selflessly, "take my *****. Grip it firmly. I promise that I won't have it shortened."
   That August Tammy had a baby who was so black that Gordon suspected that she'd been ******* Negroes and he was right.