Closed eyes
Holding hands
Take a step
into darkness
This is
the next step
From there
we float
into forever

Limbs tangled
Relaxed
Gentle warmth
Distant TV noises
Golden light through window
Silences, never awkward
Perfect conversations
Shared jokes and laughter
This is the desired comfortable

Darkness faded
Rain halted
Flowers bloomed
Eureka!

I’m worried about her,
the girl next door
Yes I see her smile
but it’s not about that

I see the way she drags her feet
Walks in rain with no umbrella
Picks petals off flowers
Stands on cracks in pavements

Worried her smiles not genuine
Worried when the last time it was
Worried what’s she’s hiding
Worried about her

I’m alive but not living
A box of contradiction
spirals of contemplation
Lonely when not alone
Twists and turns
Head hurting confusion

I’ll never fit together
to form an ideal
Not something neat
you can fit on a page
I’m more broken pieces
put together with sticky tape
No perfect formation
My life is no tessellation
There are gaps
which is okay
More space
for imperfections
Pretty patterns
come in different forms
overlaps and all

If you laid me bare,
stripped me into basic parts
would you still look at me the same

Cut me open
Puzzle pieces spill onto the floor,
all bent and broken

Lightning in the pit of my stomach
Grey clouds behind my eyes
You wish I was made of sunshine