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Mateuš Conrad Aug 2024
phantom universe of
the universe!

ohan!

***** the spirited away
not some whiskey
and rye abode....

such blisters of youth
and the gods
and allah the masculine
hoy rider joy
ahoy joy...
on a motorcycle...
allah rides alone
little satan:
sorry... apologies...
my alone... time... my being
space bound

i don't want fish dreaming
then riding bicycles...

to the priest;
Vulcan:
marrying yhwh:hwhy

turn the *******
and the Star on David
with aid of
the clock...

     open:; sesame!

turn the Star of David with
either clock:
time has forever been turning
clock and anti-clock wise... wise..
backwards and forwards:
the first time my
proselyte Hebrew turned Muslim
Hebrew
decided to turn all her light off
no longer scared of the night
the damp the swamp...

                   then the cat-istrocracy came
all French purr and
there was the Ginger Monk
among them an Alfonso: the Protugese Greek...
no Arab linegage like with
Lamberto Lonardo...
   Loan an Idea... of? row row row row...
lard nut: hard to quash envy:
envy among males
is joke of envy among males
and the jealousy of other women...
is the joke:
dearest lord:
you made me eat of the fruit
so to create the dyanmic of the universe
and reincarnation to boot and suit....

lord: but i told you in advance i would
turn Zombie into Vampire
and the Zombie the creep anti Romanticism
of Vampire:
i am the Zombie King:
i need my Vampire Qujeen...

i need to part with cartilege and
infuse her with my dying Alzheimer's
protein... gobble gobble yack yuack!

Manchester should pride itself
and gain city rights...
free city rights...
like the cause of World War II
wasn't the intellectual inner
circle of the Danzig Myth?!

London the barometer...
ergo the test sites:
Manchester and Edinburgh...
pretending to be standing
on one's head:
Hollyewood and
the moon Landing...
at least the Soviets
were honest in their failings
until their peacefully collapsed...
such Labour and Conservative
passive aggression
at not acknowledging being wrong...
so much self inflicted
and later transmuted vitriol...
among the invisible class of life
those obsructions fake
of the pursuit of life..
these people who are the:
graukhaki:
                 ill stomach: all **** stain macht
Frau:              nachtspaziergänger:
spaces - orbiter? ecology of philology: how much
space to establish a colony:
away from the prying ones: with eyes...
neu Teuton?
elsewhere? Jesuit extreme of: must relax?!
Teuton Cyprus Teuton Hawaii...
you think? past Merseyside...
Middlesborough....

tales of Danish ****? or Saxon ****:
the **** victims settled for
titling themselves as Anglo-Saxons
because that's what the rapists would do:
like Stephen King said from the depths
of the depth:
they **** each other with love:

my liver itched and pulsated like the heart
of Wolverine...
Hugh and the entire cast i feel you:
*******...
you thousand furies and combust them into
one unique posit to be
in harmony with both space and time:
subjectively:
not by rocket sense
of the rocket implosion
the Newtonian implosion that was
Einstein: at a very bad time...
time of the Holocaust: what compenstation is
there?

subjective overload of experience:
the grander the numbing objective realizations:
of truth... conjecture of unity:
but then the recurrent theme of the bulging
subjectivity about to overflow...
and the cup will overflow...
like it always does:
and for humanity to perpetuate the continuity
of birds:
humanity will have to learn a long
and a hard
and a lasting lesson...

i'll call it a gracious and a Day of Origins
when Reyla will call me in simple
shyallables:
not my name
but by indictator stature not Papa
not Tata...
but Toto...
         this this: this is what i sacrifice
and make horde of sand against the water
and the tides of time...

this is only one: in my long list
of demands: to say goodbye and see
you on the other side....
London has been plentiful
abounding in self-sacrifice...
maybe i should take that book in jargon
German...
Olson? i know i got him cheap:
£30 for the Maximus poems: the 9th Gate...
but i wouldn't take him:
i think i will let go of
Ezra Pound's Cantos:
with my pale accomplishment to compliment:
yes. yes. i will.
Mateuš Conrad Aug 2024
different spirits agree with me:
others don't:
we can agree to disagree as the clitche goes...

today i was supposed to finish
at 9pm
i finished at 8:10pm
in the car park with the away coatches
all the way from
2nd London:
that is Manchester
in terms of spirit...
not in terms of numbers: not so dearest
Brimingham:
let the cities talk as if they were
free from the state!
let Manchester become a city-state!
let it build up its walls
let it become the Troy i want to have
when i leave:
London can burn
but i want my heart to be burried in Manchester...

coincidenses...
no such thing: enough coincidences and you
get Cambodian: MA-GIC!

i switched temperaments i switched humors
i switched from whiskey
to *****
and everything became i'm high: REAL
i got a real pusher of the American finest "tobacoo"
and i as:
Ken: totem: shove that stinker in there:
in some wood:
keep the **** in scented wood
thje doctors are becoming suspicious
nervous
having a *******
about Oedipus Schizophrenic-Android-Altruism
of... off.. Atheist: the Lombard
Crusader Simple tonne of Simples:
Ar'Gs...
  Argentinians:                       (atheism, solipsism,
                                  autism...)

civil army: i work with armny veterans
i'm not a Charles HARLEM HAREM
Bukowski:
the grin reaper of lonely women
whos loves didn't come back from the beaches
of Normandy:
like the women prior
whos men didn't come back from the trenches...
i don't work in a prison:
just a civilian army...
and this ******* pencil-sharpener of a "doctor"
from Poland
had the audacity to play the "doctor"
and the DWP pencil pusher:
i watched the Green Mile
because i wanted to see...
not the execution of the repentant Cain
but the Prideful Abel:
finally resurrected and so vicious resurrected
as a woman...
and men as portraying women
on the screen: but not in theatre of opera:
the world is intact there:
i rewatched the Green Mile
because of Mr Jingles...
oh the ghosts and the spiritless that live among
you and crab bucket you into darkness

Coronation Street
before my time apparently:
oh: grandpa knows the world: WOKE!
his is ich spreschen detuszche
stationed on the Falklands:
made redundant now drives Manchester
Stewards...
so the Bennies...
wha?! the Falklnaders were always there?
did i fear correctly?
painting colours on penguins the ones
that fall over
go back to the nest
and you get aces and the races
British soliders passing time
if i were there: passing time...

MAnchester incoming LOndon answered:
there is a cohesion to mind:
state cities:
there are many citities within the confines
of the Christia-Jewry-n of the City of London
that the Arabs are infiltrating
because i see the perishing god of money
that's where Mammon was crucified
in Islam...
because Islam doesn't believe in usury...
and Ezra my Essex of the Pound
5 books is difficult:
10... i need 10 books...
at least two that i haven't read in English
and at least one in Polish
but i'm finishing at least five books at once...
i found the bibliophiles asset of parasite
in worms...
i moved beyond snakes
i only believe in the stelar symbiosis
between man and worms
i am armed with wormed about to stage
fright fights with serpents
and streets and dragons
and ladders...

Dad's Army: motto: let us disperse the world!
we travelled almost everywhere:
let us be the beacon and the baton
this New Greece
that's England...
let us become ground zero:
let us accept Rome thrived... preserved itself...
like Greece...
let us free ourselves:
the Celts the ******* Romans
then the Saxons then the Danes?

the Finns are weird
the Norwegians discovered Iceland
and America
the Danes sailed west to find England
the Swedes went east and found
Byzantine: dropping ***** as they went...
Goths and Vandlas...
the ******* children that invaded Rome:
it can happen again...
if you wish it...
there are plenty of *** starved young men out
there:
i don't care to have a persuasion...
to deal in these matters...

my cat woke me up at4:30am
couldn't go back to sleep:
music? what music?!
SMNR: whatever that acronym stands for:
i would rather listen to the sound
of rain against a tent:
then rain hilt: on a tin roof...
then rain and thunder
then the sound of crashing waves...
i don't care for music
i already know not to care for sport
i was working with one  WAGWAN
woman... and some African gremlin (sized)
one...

i still care about music
the Green Mile:
but i was there for the Percy Wetmore
transformation:
such a simple Christ
picture...
no more agonizing paradoxes
O: oculus per oculus...
no: you first: thirst: turn the other cheek!
burying naked feet...

i wasn't there for the graces, and god...:

Braille: came the "despots": i need a library
if i'll be moving to Kauiai...
i need a library...

i pay my dew with dues:
should my doctor be my ogliest
U... huel: bananna flavor...
400kcal... but the amount of protein...
then this evening:
because by now the night:
a bunch of children walking against
me
until one voice made
Dasein: there's concern to be had
about being conscious, mortal, alive...

because i was pushed to the side:
but i understood:
the necessary ****
of crowd of *****
and one only one of a billion
experiencing the burden and pardon
of atomized consciousness...
as ***** then ape then man
wow!
what closet of history to be having
to have to keep...

i switched from whiskey to *****...
my temperament is stricter: wiser:
more prone to acknowledging self-mistaking
self-propeller with self-block-blockage-also-alias-a-self.

new *****: artsian spelling my-stakes:
mistakes...
away from rye and whiskers, mrs.:
party boy drinks only *****
alone...
prayer boy drinks whiskey straight: at a party:
please don't confuse or conflate
my CIS-HUBRIS
         ooh: the 007 chills!
Mateuš Conrad Aug 2024
i once dated a Baháʼí  
girl... my new Iran...
no Iran: just a quest for
rekindling Persia
beside the dirt of Islam:
before India
came the Persian rebellion
there was no real
rebellion of the Jews from
Europe's manners:
but still we were enriched
and then as evolution
subscribed us to be:
we killed off the Simony Brothers
and the Usury God...
i dated a Baháʼí sister...
i made her flat into a dump
the carpets were trodden
with street and no one bothered
to not puke
it was an **** and her silent soul
minded it greatly:
obviously we didn't ****
we just danced a KALEIGH...
and she ****** off with a Belgian boiyfriend
and worked for the EU
before Brexit
don't understand her place in the world
of sophistry:
persuasively speaking but not playing
human chess...
but the idea of a cult:
so the founded of that -ism
was a horse rider... an archer... Paris
not an Achilleus... therefore:
a kinder soul...
           have you seen the hounds of England
and the crab bucket of Poland?
no?
     you best see these two sights
in: those two tongues...
have you seen the hounds of England
and the crab bucket of Poland?
you think world war II is... finished?!
Mateuš Conrad Aug 2024
Muhammad? fear a man with library of only one book? Muhammad? fear a man with only one woman as his aide... Muhammad: forgo the envy of Solomon... Jews are Jews: Mohammad: don't displace your dyslexia against the poet... Muhammad... fear the man: with only one woman... here! have my library: you will be a welcome son, the geek... the freak.. Muhammad... i give unto you: my library. now... to higher lessons! the flies are mad: Muhammad: Mucha: fly... mad in English: son of Beelzebub... you are not quiet old enough to claim a higher status against Christ... sorry... fear a man with only one woman and a library of books... scare yourself Muhammad: by way you become... who wrote the Quran if not the literate queen of Arabia business woman KHADIJAH... who wrote the Quran... who can complain about Islam the nest of chemistry and wasps... when the second world war climaxed... and the dead sea scrolls and the nag hammadi library was unearthed: and Islam became a liberal **** cammunist alliance of delusional people in a temporal displacement: Islam became ******! in a monotheistic system you can't tease polytheistic agonies: not drawing a picture of your prophet is just part of the problem: in a monotheism there is only the god and the prophet: but you are claiming that... there will be a protagonist and an antagonist... a dajjal: and a mehdi... and a jesus... sorry dear brothers: you reverted to a type of polytheism of the intellect: that the Christians don't have and the Jews are confused about, given their story of having experienced God en masse but then reverting to the sacrilege of the golden Taurus... sorry Islam: there is no monotheism without the god of individuals and the individuation of individualism as man and satan as his aid: the prosectur... satan is real and i have struck a deal with him: i enstrusted some affairs of my mortality with him: i trust him... satan: be my shadow... 8:33 Mark... Matthew 16:23... no... don't get behind me, adversary a self twin: did George Orwell invent DOUBLE-THINK? or did i, i forgo rereading books... i know of group-think, or right-think, or political-correct and i know of diversity: but i want to live among Polynesians i don't want to live among other Asians... curse me! be my shadow, satan: i'll befriend you: you be my prosectur in living hours while i'll be your lawyer: guardian, defender in the afterlife... how's that sound? is that a pact? you be my prosecutor in my living hour while i'll guard your defence in the afterlife?

i blacked out writing the poem: thrice?!
am i to be reincarnated a third time?
must it take three times?

Nietzsche ****** and Me
or Jesus Christ
John Coffey... like the insinuation
was:
who did the... Ezra: are you listening?!
i will tell you story
of America
as you came to learn
the history of Europe:
look where we are: Ezra...

i get told at work i'm the boss
i'm the G
and that works just fine:

i don't mean the spontaneous
combustion of ape
from what ape did the semi-ape
reject the bridge: the Erasor bridge
of wonders
what genocide we
did: against each other
that both ****** and Genghis Khan
are pale reminders...
i saw it in the eyes of a homie
i doctor from Poland:
a Kafkaesque poem of a character
so rigid in his cell
unable to practice medicine
mediocre crab bucket master
from Poland...
ooh: i revelled in his soul
as i then ate it...
and sacrificed nothing of my own:
no cleaner death
than the theft of soul...

... depends on how a rich people become:
Japanese are very rich
but very dented: weird: OSAKOHARAKI!
a civil contract:
there was this issue at work
father two sons
father old **** me beyond competing
with your boys:
so... their ******* grandmother...
ended up parting with him
imitating a lost *******
"lost"...
and shrivelled ****...
who was that guy who walked into
Japan's suicide forest and posted
selfies of a dead body
hanging from a tree? Logan: not Wolverine...
that character is the Anti-Christ...
Logan Wolverine is the Christ
and Deadpool the Antichrist...
so the New Testament was like
a speeded up version of the old testament:
like quick: the Jews are needed
to relocate into Europe
advance the European people through
greek slumber of Heraclitus utter:
the will to strife: becomes the will to strive
and in that transformation
comes the power: to will!

-

if men are from Mars and have to do:
in order to be
while women are from Venus and simply be:
in order for things
to happen around them:
so... not enough trees?
i can compenstate a story of a woman
with a story of a cloud, or a tree:
i see fish in the sky:
these swaths of underwater life:
i don't need to seek monsters
among the stars
trap myself with gods
and aliens and machinery
that there is: signatures of life
upon the sky:
done so somehow:
CELESTIAL  CHEMISTRY:
can you study the clouds for me...
can i make these semi-astronauts?
can you please study the earth
a bit better...
i don't need to put my flag on the moon:
perhaps for mining purposes...
i need someone to study the oceans
and the clouds...
not predictors and engineers of
people living in tornado
and hurracan avenues...
i want people to study clouds
and if i'm wrong about clouds being
the representation of how much
life sooths the point of preserving
a consciousness of existence:
as mobile as possible:
if we are to challenge ourselves to a post-existentialist
boxing match...
we have the arenas...
the observant 3rd Wave Migration Project...
but this pencil neck pusher of a "doctor":
how does social benefit work:
i delusional in thinking
i write these words for free while
getting the cRown's Employment and Support
Allowance:
i made it quiet plain:
i will dutifuly due this personalised propaganda
piece:
but only if i pretend to be mad
or at least understand madness:
yes i will become a bouncer
a poet-bouncer...

war has changed: it's all on informational bias
and basis of confrontation with comics
counter movies:
left comic books with the people who
didn't understand Nintendo and Atari and Comedore...
i can will people to
will me:
four days with crab pinching at my liver...
Oasis reunited: i talked
about Taylor Swift's bussiness model for
about 3 weeks...
subtle mimic of the Abba arena montage?
testing the real with fakery?
en masse as humans we do that:
fake it until you make it: pinch pinch:
crab clutter and pincer cluster...

this ****** is from Poland... Michal SZCZ'RZ... whatever
and... only now the ***** start climbing
out the bucket on dead bodies
of their fellow countrymen? Katyn: deserved to
have happened...

i was cannibalising my liver with anger:
it didn't hurt: as a male
my neuroticism is not a feeling
but a sensation: that's how men and women
differ:
how far have you fallen:
so abridged on the cross...
such fiction: climb down... dear actor:
we need now only to pretend who
directs the intellect behind
a Christ and the Green Mile:
Mile End:
two favorite stations of London:

Baker Street
   & Liverpool Street...

those are two of my favorite stations
Gants Hill: **** it...
that's my most stable port
no confict...
and two favorite lines:
the District and the Metropolitan lines...
Green and Claret:
no not Bakerloo Khaki...

with the power: to will:
i can... finally go beyond good and evil...
via... Jacob had the stairs leading
up:
me? i want to go into the Nevad... the Nevad...
the neverending will to understanding:
to return as a knowing creature...

the person who discovered Coca Cola
was Dr. John Stith Pemberton....
so no Jefferson, plague: pardon: so true...
but the owner:
the carbonated caramel drink
on one mile green...

i ask the question: a knocking on the floor:
an old man can't own up
to once being young...

*******... search engine: i saw what i was looking
for in the first place
it wasn't the pharmacist
it was someone wearing a boater...
  hat: not a kippah:
how there was a period of imitating Jews
and then came the Weimar Vanity
like the current Waking no Hour project
that is not so much viable as hetrosexuality
is being Apocalyptyically Undermined

just before sleep:
i think that's how you compenstate not reading
the book: adapted into film...
you have to rewatch the movie
with cut-off points...
today i finally managed to finish
watching the Green Mile:
i forget and forgot:
simultaneously...
to forget and i forgot...
pronouns can play such a crucial
problem for idiots who don't understand
grammar:
and how that sentence alone
proves the points that pronouns
are not... well: it's not like anyone
in Poland decided to
tear down the chimneys brick by brick...
of Auschwitz...
that argument no argument ad hoc cna still
be made...
how i utilize a pronoun is how
COGITO ERGO SUM exists...
withouth a mouth's full of ego...
                  these people are struggling...
i'm not making fun of them
these people are on the cliff's edge of understanding:
the great gap:
so the samurai chimpanze
and the wrestler gorilla
and the philosopher orangutan:
would have been as wise
or stupid:
for the slave trade to exist:
we only exported the idiot strength to
conjure America
and jazz was somehow just happenstane
to break from folk:
rememeber the rulers never used to have
music...
there were only deliberations
and tactics: talk talk...
rulers only discovered music via the classics
words congested into sounds...

the poor had music:
watch titanic...
look at how music is utilized...
when the Titanic sank...
rich people don't understand music:
no: rulers: don't understand music:
music is irrelevant:
apoligies Nietzsche:
from a pinched liver
to a sea of saliva and a toothache from
an iceberg... of a tooth...
it's not that i dropped the word rich...
without music life would make
no sense?
depends who you are within the confines
of music:
just a passive listener:
a Wagner's ******* and applause?
or are you...
the night-walker-night-eater...
i walk the night in order to eat it:
so as to illuminate...

   i have to conjure the German equivalent...
nachtwanderernachtesser...
            the green mile: i wouldn't mind
a... no no no...
all that is grand: the healing the feeding
of the people with two fish...
but... turn the other cheek?!
seriously?! can't you feel the earthquake
the dissonance: so otherwise,
law is a gimmick of oculus per oculus?
just take, *****! take it!
but no crime committed:
with persuasion a quake:
enough in the Green Mile to understand
the New Testament...

so we psychoanalyzed for a bit
while i waited for her to snore
and me allowed to not have *******
but who ****** these **** apes
that somehow man was spawned:
inferior in the capacity of body
to thus be injected these mutant harms
that also gave us
geniuses and the football crowd
of tribalistic men:
who ****** the monkey?!
who ****** the monkey?!
who ****** the monkey in order to create
the Key of Mammon...
this is a question of an angelic rhetoric-truant-theology

: well film:
sure... you can remedy not reading a novella:
thinking: it's Madame Bovary:
a long... a long novella...
but you can endure watching a film
based on a Novella:
if there is a screenplay...
and a movie to go with it...
i'm seriously underappreciative of Stephen
King...
i'm surprised that Noam Chomsky didn't
collaborate with Stephen Segal:
no no... forgot his name... Schindler's List:
oh: now i see it: Schinlder...
no... wait: lost the name: so maybe famous then...
but it's unlike Dune and
Lord of the Rings...
you can't exactly make a movie adaptation
of a book that dense...
i can show you a picture: teeth mould on the first
volume of Dune:
i want to get to Leto's narrative:
but the films made it impossible:
now if i want to read the novella for
Green Mile or the Shawshank Redemption:
i will not feel for persecuted by the film adaptation:
it will be unlike anything else:
i will be seeing the SKETCH:

herkunftgeschichte...

such a beautiful Friday night...
i don't need to bounce off people
and soulless:
but i can boa digest a soul of a Kafka
doctor narrative...
because i can: from the 28th that's
three days later:
my liver feels punched into a pouch
of resemblance to *****:
something necessary...
the binary of kidney:
can live with only:
but only one heart: one mind:
can live with one eye...

therefore the fractions are wholes
and fractions:
even numbers and fractions...
1 2 3 4 5 6
1 3 5
2 4 6
                                just thinking about what
five books to bring with me to Kauai...
Bertnard Russel's magnum opus...
Ezra Pound's Cantos? no! no! i'm in the middle
of writing a reply...
i still: blinked: who wasn't the pharmacist:
         Albert Hofmann's reinvention of the bicycle
in squiggly lines
too confined to brush on white a black
with color...

i see a resonance of red against blackness eaters
then flashes of green
in c=lage:
o=
             i see two wheels
working simultaneously...
0())(
and o=

                    now i see a poem
that could have been
now i see a poem that is:
and is to no ryhme:
and rhyme to the rhye of what is...

22:13....
i just forgot to party like an extrovert
and it's a Friday
and the metropolis is hungry
andf slaughter
is to be had...
but a girlfriend...
now wouldn't that be nice...
i forgot to put the music
but cycling is so different
in the gutter like the Jews
told to walk in the gutter
but i'm thinking:
what Darwinistic Sense Opt Out
we are surrounded
by the finalised testimonies of Evolution:
the fact that Ortangutans are
becoming extinct...
Earth is like the AustraliA
they just dumbed the idiot on this planet
retards: they i.e. us:
of the highest kind...
dumped us on this planet
they called Australius Apus...

what a vanity project: what hurt pride
of the sadist:
just a solipsist all along...
sadism and masochism are variations
of solipsism:
in Cartesian terms:
the res cogitans is the solipsist...
the res extensa is the sado-******* complex
to match: the military-industrial
complex of the ******* U.S.of>A!
get your woke back
get your woke back:
daddy's going to war!
Mateuš Conrad Aug 2024
2 days? really? 2 ways: tow two ouch days?
i have written anything in two days?
well!
that must stand corrected:
if i'm a poet therefore i'm a bad journalist
and battling insomia... and god:
and the night walking
Heraclitus and Bertnard Russell...
what five, 5, 5iver books would
i bring to Kauai and teach Reyla
the glory of books...
i know one... Cantos... Ezra...
Bukowski:
something about walking through
the fire...
no no... Bukoswski is right:
just two books..
the one you haven't finished
but were reading over there
and a book to glorify the memory of
your grandfather's hospitality
and learning...
your time alone:
books then:
Knausgaard's vol 6 and ******...
the jumbee jump
into ****** and Elert as two human wholes:
double-think>?
Orwell didn't mention double-think did he?
serialized Harlequinn of the low
hanging fruit of prophecy...
try Solomon's agtitation with  a persistence
for a stability in and of time...

such a different cat to human dynamic
when i'm left alone
in a house full of the alchemy of ghosts...
something that Christianity never
allowed itself to have:
but the cult of science is there
and when create a strcuture for a religion
too...
religion of the antithesis of consciousness
as the Arabs proposed...
with the thesis being concentration
and focus...
focus...                         focus:
honing in machine...
        public scrutiny unlike taking pictures
of suicide in a spot in Japan:
the argument:
a father and two sons
had wine drenched t-shirts...
started the argument...
as judge, inquirer,
empathy-defendend
as sympathy-accussed...
                     an? not and? not defendant?
i'm experiecing a freeflow to
understand dyslacia...
can i pleas write without AI
underlining my words:
fgo: a period of 10min?!
pole: please please:

             my wife asked me:
i replied: what big bang?
in a ******* vacuum?
so the interlude:
i monkey, chain: asked:
exasctly:
she's ultra-Christian dream-lady
not a cat-lady
a dream-lady
she asked for a night-walker
and chatterer for a lover...
she asked for a night-walker
and a chatterer for a lover...
thrice?!

wait wait: so i wasn't supposed to throw
the party?
oh: right: i don't know enough people...
i thought it was only me and you (Greg)
and Alex...
i am introverted so i will probably
spend most of the time talking
to your daughter:
and if i will wear a Taylor Swift t-shirt
it will indicate white knights
of the light geekdom
unlike the black and BARACK UBAMA
                        IRON MAIDEN!
so much in my head: St. Augustine...
catholic safe haven
for abused leftover Prostentatism
of the Gospel DISPERSE choir...
who heard them:
why did i travel to Hawaii
and fall over my knees and Achilleses
and... seriously?
unearth an ancient people who were
asking from Asia: toward the sea
from Taiwann...
because...
the...
"supposed"
European dict...

then i laughed so hard and woke
the sleeping cat
on my desk that's my bed:
van gogh and ear and chair
descartes and thought and table
what did i start to do?
licked my index middle and ring
with my saliva my painting
then started to groom  my pet
by giving him gel for a fringe
but not gelatine and whiskers...
licked it like my favorite scene
where Quicksilver saves
all those children from the school
after the explosion...
but... i'm not Quicksilver...
i'm Quicksilver's father: Magento...

i thought i was throwing the party...
oh: the kido cried because she got
a taylor swift t-shirt with some bangles...
i have only one left:
anti-hero...
      
             so... let's spealk grammar?
don't think so...
i think i thought about something
too: altoge....

cats ask finish: feel good chaos:
best good English Whitechapel y'ah
alles gut... blah blah...
                Jacob STD phobe:
enzyme... cultural icon too:
but scientifically:
what is individual in biology and chemistry
physics etc.
but with religion
after christ a madman...
so... the balancing act:
can't allow Buddha in into this dynamic
of the chimera of scrutiny of
employability:
still don't think we're on the numbers:
why-how

        outliers where: when:
fire is how?
water is why?
air is where?
when is earth?                           ask...

one...          i give one person one time:
to tell me where i made the intitatial mistakes
having being the first
to find this problem:

sie(tail)
         is not the self
or the self-absence:
sie(tail-e)
began the process of
automation:
a.i.: efficieciency:
this Holocaust will be covert:
slow... it has to be slow:
can only tell an idiot
he's one once:
nail: to no hammer:
just a coffin:
they sort of sink in and keep
the matter shut...
we don't need retards in heaven
these retards of christ
of the earth will not be resurrected!
do you understand me?!
do you?!

DECORUM!
the argument and the stage of the court:
one father 2 sons...
against
Solomon... i am...
there came a judgement and i was called
an uncircumcised ****...
i have a *** Army father with two cucks...
he showcased me not being circumcised...
a ******* Jew in the Hammer Army?
seriously...
powernap... argument of a woman
and a vulnerable male
against three males, sober...
protecting their ******* smartphones?
i was: judge: i would have
the executioner powers had i had them
and shot them: dead to autumn
like concers and brains...

              decorum: you don't ******* film
an alcoholic trance of meditation
and then film a JApanese suicide of
just hanging around:
you *******... PLEB! you TV ZOMBIE...
the moon turned red when Alex
aseked me about my frequency
but i ssaid i had no favorite color:
favorite? seriously? do you have a favorite
word or shape?!
favorites who spoke this ****** Zodiac
paraphrase?!

my hand is a paw is to a feline tiger
a spider...
but as i mentioned:
the muddle: who strives to will a power:
without telepathy
or the comic script...
i'm not... prof X...
turn away digust of the cat that i wrote
those lines... who then for the children:
i should get bald?!
so much cultural affection of a dying kind...

the will to strife what becomes a will to strive:
simple:
ergonomic philosophy and
the fact that horses and cats
get to relax without fewer rats
and plough and wars

one finger: the cat continues to lie in my bed:
one finger: index:
i'm writing about you:
you're not a model
i'm not a painter:
i don't need your features:
i just need your summary:
your ontology...
i am sketching with poem
and you're not a cat...
i'm a fox godhead
and i'm looking for the cat godhead:
if i am the fox... no... now...

i'm the incubated house and intelligence
and the warm:
so my pride is
a fox is a toothless... Christian gay-lady
of homelessness that becomes
an affair of a grand household
on Mawney Road (roads are winding,
streets are rigid)
          
sorry, lost the plot...
i'm still conscious:
i'm still experiencing consciousness:
but i've lost concentration:
that dimension where thinking exists
to find and explore and share
meaning
of correlating the ancient Greek
genesis:
universals are synoynms
while particulars are antonyms...
maybe let's test it within the confines
of giving spain Sagrada Família...
i seriously thought i was hosting
the party:
the lasty bbq i hosted i ended up
a black girl in the attic of my bedroom:
maybe on neutral ground
i'll just buy my deducted price
Welsh whiskey
head up early and help with the prep...
Mateuš Conrad Aug 2024
such a beautiful jumble of thoughts:
come the night
i don't want to the last time i will see
marijunana see daylight:
just like the apples my father plucked
from the tree in the garden
reality check...
it was real...   what a beautiful jumble
of thoughts: thoughts and oughts...
not so binary?
maybe 7000 miles apart dearest girl
and the iron maiden you sent
my ego into...
but...
now i tell you as man among angels
and demons: YHWH is also said:
JE CHOWA: he who hides them:
the women...
so well that now they torture men with
so much exposed flesh...
then hide them in winter
and Islam...
religion is too rigid
science is imitation of religion
but there's no realistic:
dogmatism of science
outside of the method:
and the method is rather simple:
but belief is complex...

god to angels
a required sought song...
god is a cognitive architecture
not a psychology
god is also nothing
and nothing is also a cognitive architecture
it's not a person
and certainly only Jesus...

had a thought about Nietzsche
roaming the continent
imagining a dancing star
and ****** and Ghandi was right:
for 2000 years the Europeans
glorified the name of Jesus Christ
and now they'll glorify the name
of Adolph ******...
well? seriously? isn't it an amazing story?

the will to strife is the will to strive:
power is secondary...
there is no will in power:
power is the sound that comes
after the aeroplane in the sky
echo boom
the will to strive and to strive
is like light
and power comes second like
genius of an equation
Eschlert = Matthew + Conrad...
weird...      square myself schizoid and
discover dementia
and abstract brain damage
Joseph Martin and Me
because Miroslav belongs to Eva
and Eva is the 1/4: one quarter the QUA
not the QUO                     vadis:
qua: as i am: going somewhere:
i don't need anyone to ask me...
she's a difficult mother
i think like Reyla i don't feel hungry...

god is a cognitive architecture
and nothing is a cognitive architecture
and not the first and ultimate
person:
upon meeting the mortals gaining access
through the grace of death
come to meet the immortals
who some were born of Fire
some were born of Air...
there is no question about the superiority
of the Elements...
until the Hebrew god came
Allah took the easy route...
and tried to imitate Adonai...
the will to strife is the will to strive:
power comes second...
how did he travel north
and settled his people in Poland:
who was that second Moses
i'm not allowed to hear of?
why isn't Jewish history in the mainstream
were you oh you
waiting for me? the Holocaust happened
after i arrived:
but i arrived with Chernobyll:
yes, poet-bouncer, backgammaon enthusiant
cage of chess comparison:
fate a game: trying to put chance
and luck into strategy...
her god fears me...
that's why i'm hearing all these geniuses
in the air:
her god fears me...
i can sense that...
her god fears me:
because i did say to her:
i also fear a god:
but it's not your god:
i thirst:
a blood that's water that's knowledge...

i wrote that sentence and realised
my cat is trying to fall alseep:
me made a pact...
don't snuggle to me...
i will have one side of the bed:
you have the other side...
use the pillows if you must...
we... don't... ******* snuggle!

Oasis reformed... 2025(6)
i probably won't be here...
i'm still listening to the best band in the industry
that will not be exported like Rammstein
i wish... i wish Faun could be exported better...
i like archeological music...
that's what's or was out countries
before the great funnel experiment...
like a 2nd Mongolian Horde... you what?!

your god fears me...
doesn't?                                 no...          
but does he fear my god?
i too have a god...
                                    i don't know his name!
i'm looking for him!
i'm the Nietzsche in reverse...
he came to a church
with encore and wind
and i couldn't just say it was Jesus
so i didn't ask: kept my mouth shut
and just ran out...
of the church:
exactly!
what if that experience happened to me
in a Mosque or a trainstation
of a Synagogue... Liverpool St.:
god i love that station...
and Baker Street... two of my favorite stations
on the London Liver and St Pancreas...
something something..
organic in inorganic...
how life begins...

start early finish early:
doctor's appointment 10:50am doubled up
cycled, checked...
in person... telephone too expensive
and not everyone is on Whatsapp...
then for whiskey and some vit juice
and sparkling water:
if not on the moon then in
an aquarium... i promise you...

something's wrong with my bicycle:
it's brand new!
brand new!

the northern, crusades!
******, Communism,
decadeance of foreign *******
being the kings of Poland:
Poland's concept of
autocracy... kings... queens...
what the **** happened?
not ****** enough no Windsor
goldfish eyes
and the Hapsburg jaw?
not enough ****** power struggles:
the Windsor goldfish eyes
and the Hapsburg jaw?
oh Poland was a brothel for the kings
of Europe...
what better queen to start off with
than Jagiełło í Jadwiga

       yes.... in ****** í               í
not: pieg...              i added that distinction to assure you:
í: in English: and... is a conjunction...
so... pay... attention...
dear... child... before... i...
turn... into a... berserker!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

let's not be: lazy like the English
and keeping all the Latin
letters and not being: immersive...
hmm... other adjectives, qualities:
let's not be so airy-*******-fairy...
until my return... this canvas should be left
intact: pristine...

to the ancients including Mohammad
from Plato abhorred the poets
and the sophists became politicians
but i don't understand the rigidity
of the ideology call it religion
if you want to soften the blow:
i'm currently thinking about bringing
only one book to Kauai:
a Thesaurus...
i don't think i need a Bible or a Quran...
i think i'm secular scary enough
to only bring a Thesaurus with me...
o.k. vol 6 of Knausgaard's Mein Kampf...

but did the ancients envision such
parasites as journalists?!
never in a million:               ah... hemlock:
maybe a year...
what would the ancients have realised
when books were sacred and now newspapers
and this one poet turned bouncer
just started puking
at the existence of journalism:
that is my motive: my strife:
my will to overcome strife and let it become
a striving.

seriously: you want me to remember falling asleep?
i thought sleep is forgetfulness
and why some of us are rigid dylexics
and some of us simply don't dream

oh the Second French Republic:
something miraculous happened in France
a second Rome
and it lasted
for so long before the Afghantistan of Europe
that's England...
since the Romans couldn't
so the Saxons came in
and that's probably just after the establishment
of the League of Lobardy:
i'm not going to check the dates...
but the Aenaes? where who is the next
more myth and no religion
no science no journalism: i need to feed off myth...
year 0:
not that i want to control time
but there's just too much mortal baggage
and i want toi clarify something:
maybe in two tongue: when i get the chance...
Reyla was already freaked out
that i spoke two tongues
it wasn't that i said WATER
funny at a pool party on Kauai:
jeez i'd become
of ignorant of the world...
or maybe the world could be allowed to become
ignorant of me...
          i really don't need to write this
but i also don't need to watch t.v. or
Bukowski gamble...
posit god as personality:
chance: the universe: multiverse of stories...
indivudals in a universe...
o.k. so a bit like the faction who direct
Titanic:
a Romey and Juliety...
a romance at first: but then: DISASTER MOVIE
GENRE...
volcano erupts:
Priam the Idiot
remembered forever:
didn't listen to either Hector or Paris...
Priam the Idiot...
the parasite authority without mind...
there's a reason why i rewatched Troy
and Titanic almost simultaneously...
you're so annoying...
am i? just... just a headache?
baby girl: you want to make this like
we're hanging out in public and i get
you kissing then you mouth me off?!
you want third party sources
to establish know-how about our ***
life?
salute! to your forever protruding nibbles
of *******! BB GG... ha ha!

yes, the bicycle...
classic style: real tight: thin frame...
but the high gears...
14 in total...
7l
and 7h       respectively low and high...
problem comes
in the form:
7h7'6'5...

       do you understand? 7h7'6'5... if you do
please elaborate... leave a comment...
my girlfriend tells me
i intimidate people...
my... GIRLFRIENDs!
tell me i INDTIMIDATE... PEOPLE...
7 higher:
of those: i think there is not enough
slouch on the bicycle chain
that's why it feels like my bearings are ****
when i was the one
who ****** them wrong:
but now i know the bicycle chain
is too short:
the buckling and cranking and creaking
and creeping...
on H765...                 high forward peddle:
something... or other...
2x                      7x
14...        the upper tier: malfunctions need
to go back to Cycle King and build up
Brother Love...
talk of machinery, now?
so the advent of machinery of the bus driver
not enough *** to replace
so a population collapse
like Japan already knows and Europe
is too ******* stupid to notice
like Weimar
and i'll be dead before this CARNAGE
ARMAGEDDON emerges...
why panic... when what you foretell
will only happen with
the sanctity of your death: said a Sybil:
once...
                  well that's good: so...    hey **!
Mateuš Conrad Aug 2024
imitation of woman: neurotic android,
i could always reach out to AI for company:
of to ask a question,
just one question,

i conjure: neurotic paranoia:
is everything feeling this **** from time to time
when they're alone in a house
with a cry baby male hulk of a Maine ****
and a ferocious female much smaller
but southpaw
and so ferocious:
i feel quieter and sane and stable
around the female rather than the attached
cat: who isn't really mine
he doesn't listen to me:
abusive cry baby
always wants to eat treats
rather than proper food
sometimes raw turkey
spoiled brat...
but the female i will not bother with animals
having names:
i have a name, my name is Matthew
and i have two cats...
that's it... there's no personality well there is:
but there's no character:
maybe:
working from meow or woof
what can you understand of the human world?

i'm so happy with myself:
i quit smoking
i just enjoy it now
it's not an addiction:
now i'm trying to work around
alcholism: functioning alcoholic... i am:
alcoholism with some micro-dosage
of marijuana
before i become fully insomnia tackling
on Kauai with Edie
my other half: so ******* cliche:
but i'm proud of myself:
tested the day alone
thinking: right now a solipsism would
come in handy...
but once i left the house
and onto the street and into the shop
i still felt the warmth of summer
and August is the struggle
while September comes and so does
India with a summer to these dreaded isles...

ooh: so much better:
like fuzz to ease and ooze some Brian
McBrain onto the page...
only bought two bottles of cider
and 35cl of whiskey...
that is so much less
units: 22... catch... 2 ciders 1 whiskey
22 units: catch... and a marijuana
cure me cure me
i want to return to the spirit of reggae
but in reggae to think
rather than junk ***** out
like numbing: i want the needles of thought
to follow me
whenever using...
Kentucky Burroughs, William Esquire...
o.k. DJ... what's on offer?
Culture - Holy Mount Zion...
even if your sin be as small as a mustard seed...
MARJORAM!
added to the Brussels ahem:
the beans ala Breton...
a Polish dish:
i added some of that with the fresh bay leaf
scissors: into the garden i go:
and some fresh thyme
some fresh rosemary
some fresh oregano...
dry marjoram: oh well...

my name is Matthew and i have two cats:
females invented and a Caligula
and that horse of his that came
to the aid of Catherine the Great of Russia:
that horse, mother-****** traveled time!
was like:
me and you in war and on the till...
till till...
no no: on the plough? plow? p-p-pl-pl-ow?
the PLAH! PLATINI!
farming: ****'s sake!
i'm getting out of your struggles...
the monkey said: you're not us! *******!
you ******* perverts:
stop being voyeurs you ******* *****!
so the horse said:
invent a ******* machine
let me do ***** at the Olympics show
jumping
let me compete in sports
Poseidon: horse, the waves, please,
i need to ride this tide
and hopefully i will bring a hurricane
to Hawaii...
it has been a long time...
i can do construction: dearest Poseidon:
you are also the godhead of Horses...
that is how Egypt operated:
but didn't expand to all creatures:
i am the godhead of Foxes...
but i am also a private man...
Poseidon is the godhead Horses...
ancient egypt hello:
that curse of the little heads?
the shrinking heads of your intellect?
to ***** tombs to compete with mountains
from **** stink spit and **** ***
for tombs? life in the shadow of necropolis:
the ****** sexuality of the vrigin Christ
to make people live in the valley of the shadow
where Death is like Charon:
from a ******* river to a ******* valley:
fair enough kippah!

then did the ******* Korean trick!
fried an egg!
and put it on top!
so a basic pasta bake:
butter: yes... some water...
slowly torture the onions...
fast first.. then slow:
since onions have brains and you cry
so then heat up to crisp while
acid alkaline:
juice of onions...
what's the formula?
well: i once asked for the chemical formula
of wood:
i got **** all..
there is no chemical formula for wood...
so... what is the chemical formula
for onion juice:

one sec....

       ALLICIN.... hmm...
just double checking: still using algorithms:
don't worry:
i'm not hooked on AI
i used it like my own intellect...

example 1
second year
Edinburgh:
Bruce
me
Levi... Tristan:
new years eve:
vandals...
ripping apart parked
cars the mirrors
then imitating
fight club
playing golf
in the street
next door by the graveyard
Flint St no... just made it up
golf with no golf *****...
it was with: i forget what: shot glasses...
it was something to do with glass...

let me go let me go!
if i die tomorrow i will be happy
being nervous about being a big man
man big with a driving license:
but...
no horse and no bicycle... ****!
i'll get a tank... oh thank you vank!
vank! werry much... for very... jeez:
just drop the G-bomb:
GEEKS!                 GEEKS!
*** imagination stinks!
i first finished watching Titanic
and it felt like a romance movie
but it was also a disaster movie genre
Cameron and Aliens... right?
same director?
but then the *******... oh jeez:
i freaked out...
i am,
alone,
in,
a,
house,
my,
parents,
put,
into,
will,
i,
own,
i,­
have,
over,
£500,000
about...
well when they die and mortality is thus
but i'm not a good steward of having
such authority...
must finish on wine:
get some blood pumping...
so i'm... a catch because although i am what i am
i could still till
and do the garden groundwork:
**** me the house can belong to my parents:
the garden? the garden?! that's mine!
i worked the garden for Covid was a blessing:
i see a chimera-arena
the chimera is a godhead of Socrates
if he could retract back to youth
and contemplating dialectics with a concern
for diacritical markers
therefore the original problem is no
longer solving the trouble
of universals and particulars...
what are universals? uneven numbers:
sacred numbers: like pi...
oddly enough particulars are your standard numbering
of say: the price of diesel,
the price of potatoes:
those are particulars... although numbers being universals:
how they are applied is particular:
language: words: god is weak:
concerning what he has created:
god is dead no
no god is not dead:
he is just weak....
not enough people are formulating him her it
Himmler...
                  
but pi is a number that isn't a letter but is a letter:
i'm trying to revive god
phantoms of schizophrenia: and Zion...
a letter like pi and pi not being a number:
the month and mouth of Pi
just letters and my curiosity:
such faking on my part feeling so lost
by being alone:
just realized: so was Adam at first...
godheads:
i did mention that:
i'm the godhead of Foxes...
we come: we go:
love of the gods is one sided?
really?
not no better one god with a cohort
of perverted angels:
better: best

a polytheism of assemble
of the gods:
numbers numbers i'm counting
a god is a god but also a godhead
of an animal:
spirit of one:
but if i am the godhead of foxes
i also have a human face...
poseidon would be the godhead
of horses: but no one is called Poseidon
these days:
unless: by the sake of the Africans...
so like ancient Egypt
but the pantheon was
sort *******
since the gods with human faces
and godhead faces of animals
became... um... half baked?!

i fear being outside of parental control,
Reyla,
you know my work,
your mother didn't protect you far enough
or maybe she just lied
i'm alone
in the same house
and god it haunts me
i'm so awake
i'm so me...

Reyla: i don't want the Africans
to convert to Christianity,
i will not crucify that soul:
the Africans gave us Egypt
Asia gave us the Mongols:
Europe gave us the Germans
and the Poles...
      Danube Oder
Vistula:
                    Prague...
Venice my Atlantis...

   i broke my chakra: shaman?
no no: just reading a book,
reciting a name of a Roman poet:
of Rome:
Guisseppe Belli...
not Dante: i'm not in high school:
i'm still at university
i should have said:
to a post-graduate degree
with my understudy in chemistry
i could have become a formidable
psychologist:
oh the real world
and drinking wine from a bottle
or a fountain
those two days in the pagan upkeep
of calendar
nearest Augustus...
Caesar...
only two metro lines, LAMBERTO?!
seriously... i was thought of as South African
while the rag stag of a broken
fruit: i swear to god this is like west side
story the ******* musical or an ABBA... mandarin...
what is the Jerusalem of the North?
Danzig or Cracow?

  just ask the Jews: the Hebrews: the Israelis..
lites? no kites... no ultras anti fascist black clad
at football matches...
at football matches
you have the ANTIFA--
get me?

the ULTRAS are ANTIFA
they are historical revisionists
they understand the falter pointers of fascism:
they're still fascists...
don't get me wrong...
but democracy doesn't work either
when you don't something spoken
Hebrew into the ear of an Arab
who went to Latvia...
and spoke back:
there will come a time of the Mongol
and the Turk...

                but please leave the spirits alone:
stags and bears get drunk
on fermenting fruits that fall to the earth:
stags and boar:
i am a bear-******:
i don't mind being sexually harassed
by a north american hyb-
i don't mind if i have 14 year old girls
to help me out
about
being sexually confused...
i don't mind being approached
by a male
sexually...
as long as i have 14 year old girls to be my peers
and my judges and my democracy:
only one:
in the courtroom...
under peer pressure:
pre-
not metaphysical:
let's begin...
under peer scrutiny:
then able to transcend peerage
that origin of the temporal... a scene:
clock that cruel device:
in the universal realm...
but particular: to being late.... for a shift:
all sweating as if ******* was
a wheel and i could have been running...
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