Hello Poetry
Submit your work and get some sparkles! Create free account
A hamster walked in the pub yeah you remember that was that group that has a ******* collection but no ******* group anymore yeah that makes as much sense as me cheers Hello your truly more ****** up than I. She was broken fragile and me I was a ***** poetic ******* who was always trying lend some umm comfort cause I'm a strictly well I'm kidding hey if I can take advantage of someone and see some ******* in the process it's all good in the hood. Gonz give me one shot and a beer . Of ***** right? What she replied ? The shot you mean like ***** The woman looked at me as most do like I was a pervert they would never be near unless I was running bar within my mind on a poetry site yeah I know ******* freaky **** right? Look Gonz I swear just for once stop being a perve and get my dam drink and just shut the **** up okay ? I was in shock not from being snapped at from a female that happens all the time I'm used to being yelled at by my teenage wife skeeter . Yeah just cause she catches you watching **** she gets all bent of shape . Well sure I guess it was a little reckless going down the interstate but duh don't fall asleep while I'm driving I mean a girl has her needs what can I say . No the shock was more from getting my ding ding caught in my zipper hey you know how many ***** movies start out with a woman asking for a beer and a shot yeah I know I'm seriously ****** up but hey I'm fun. So after some manly tears shed and a few stiff ones hahaha that just sounded wrong can you guess I write this **** while I'm drinking? Anyways after this emotional hamster finally calmed a bit and put away her tazer I had get to just what was or wasn't eating at her . I thought deeply how I should speak to this fragile little hamster and the most caring sense I asked. So ***** what the ***** eating at your *** Yeah I know I'm a charming ******* aren't I? Well Gonz honestly it's just the way guys are on this site I mean why cant they judge my writing for just that instead of act like total horn dogs and send me messages and get all weird? This was a deep question asked to a shallow ******* like myself . Well honestly heres the truth and I know it's going to be shocking so prepare yourself ready? Umm I guess this hamster replied . Guys are all ***** ******** . Really no **** Sherlock she replied . Hey look sure some dudes can be nice and not act all weird but duh there probably gay . I mean yeah writing sights should be about writing but duh who cares about art if you can get laid let me tell you the reason I became a writer. I wasn't good at sports and I cant dance worth a **** okay so if I make chicks think I'm deep them maybe I can get to see there ******* and ******* are ******* awesome okay . Are ******* twelve this unnamed hamster asked me as she kicked back another shot of Jack Daniels . Mentally maybe I replied but honestly what is age but a marker to say hey your to old to date this person or for people put you in prison for there judgment of your unconventional lifestyle . You are one strange man Gonzo but at least your honest . yeah I know its one of my biggest flaws other than that I'm ******* awesome well I mean besides the drinking pills and other pending cases all of which I'm not guilty well kinda. We laughed we joked and when she wasn't looking I looked down her shirt yes it was a awesome night . Well until she caught me and hit me with a beer bottle . The night flew and so did are conversation . You know gonz your really not half as much a pervert as people think you are . Yeah I know don't tell anyone I have a bad reputation to uphold . The hamster laughed and my goal was reached cause at the end of the evening I'm a joker and a pervert bartender but even I know how to treat people and I don't treat a writing site like hookup .com cause if I want to get laid I will do it the old fashioned way pay for it. The hamster went on her way and once again I was left to work on my misspelled scribbling's and to look up freaky **** on the internet . really what else a internet connection for? Until next time stay crazy Kids . Gonzo
0
Sep 20, 2014
Sep 20, 2014 at 3:55 AM UTC
******* Make Me Like Your Poetry More
A hamster walked in the pub yeah you remember that was that group that has a ******* collection but no ******* group anymore yeah that makes as much sense as me cheers Hello your truly more ****** up than I. She was broken fragile and me I was a ***** poetic ******* who was always trying lend some umm comfort cause I'm a strictly well I'm kidding hey if I can take advantage of someone and see some ******* in the process it's all good in the hood. Gonz give me one shot and a beer . Of ***** right? What she replied ? The shot you mean like ***** The woman looked at me as most do like I was a pervert they would never be near unless I was running bar within my mind on a poetry site yeah I know ******* freaky **** right? Look Gonz I swear just for once stop being a perve and get my dam drink and just shut the **** up okay ? I was in shock not from being snapped at from a female that happens all the time I'm used to being yelled at by my teenage wife skeeter . Yeah just cause she catches you watching **** she gets all bent of shape . Well sure I guess it was a little reckless going down the interstate but duh don't fall asleep while I'm driving I mean a girl has her needs what can I say . No the shock was more from getting my ding ding caught in my zipper hey you know how many ***** movies start out with a woman asking for a beer and a shot yeah I know I'm seriously ****** up but hey I'm fun. So after some manly tears shed and a few stiff ones hahaha that just sounded wrong can you guess I write this **** while I'm drinking? Anyways after this emotional hamster finally calmed a bit and put away her tazer I had get to just what was or wasn't eating at her . I thought deeply how I should speak to this fragile little hamster and the most caring sense I asked. So ***** what the ***** eating at your *** Yeah I know I'm a charming ******* aren't I? Well Gonz honestly it's just the way guys are on this site I mean why cant they judge my writing for just that instead of act like total horn dogs and send me messages and get all weird? This was a deep question asked to a shallow ******* like myself . Well honestly heres the truth and I know it's going to be shocking so prepare yourself ready? Umm I guess this hamster replied . Guys are all ***** ******** . Really no **** Sherlock she replied . Hey look sure some dudes can be nice and not act all weird but duh there probably gay . I mean yeah writing sights should be about writing but duh who cares about art if you can get laid let me tell you the reason I became a writer. I wasn't good at sports and I cant dance worth a **** okay so if I make chicks think I'm deep them maybe I can get to see there ******* and ******* are ******* awesome okay . Are ******* twelve this unnamed hamster asked me as she kicked back another shot of Jack Daniels . Mentally maybe I replied but honestly what is age but a marker to say hey your to old to date this person or for people put you in prison for there judgment of your unconventional lifestyle . You are one strange man Gonzo but at least your honest . yeah I know its one of my biggest flaws other than that I'm ******* awesome well I mean besides the drinking pills and other pending cases all of which I'm not guilty well kinda. We laughed we joked and when she wasn't looking I looked down her shirt yes it was a awesome night . Well until she caught me and hit me with a beer bottle . The night flew and so did are conversation . You know gonz your really not half as much a pervert as people think you are . Yeah I know don't tell anyone I have a bad reputation to uphold . The hamster laughed and my goal was reached cause at the end of the evening I'm a joker and a pervert bartender but even I know how to treat people and I don't treat a writing site like hookup .com cause if I want to get laid I will do it the old fashioned way pay for it. The hamster went on her way and once again I was left to work on my misspelled scribbling's and to look up freaky **** on the internet . really what else a internet connection for? Until next time stay crazy Kids . Gonzo
john-patrick-robbins-aka-gonzo
Written by
Sep 20, 2014
Sep 20, 2014 at 3:55 AM UTC
Request permission to use this poem