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We were five years old full of laughter and joy We thought nothing could touch us Invincible as we ran through the field at recess We swore we were the Fastest The quickest We grew up together? No. we grew apart together. held hands with my best friends In 6th grade Making a pact that neither of us would do drugs But it's three in the morning And I'm smoking my second bowl at the beach. Traded my Capri sun for a cup of lean We run from the cops because we still swear we're the Fastest The quickest We still think we're untouchable Even as we walk through these halls sleep deprived Nobody knows what happened last night We wish we didn't know what happened that night We refuse to acknowledge the events of that night We won't even manage to look at each other in the eye When they ask who's at fault We repeat Not I Not I So what does this mean for us? Is this what we were so excited for? Is this the moment we were so impatient for? I couldn't wait to grow up Now we're in the bathroom throwing up These drugs we refuse to give up I'm lost in a life that I was not prepared for It's not like I didn't have a plan In fact, We had a plan V was going to be a teacher J was was going to be a fire fighter N was going to be a power ranger don't know how but we were five and everything seemed possible And I well I wanted to change the world But you know things happen People change V is having a baby J is moving dope N is six feet under And I? Well, I'm trying really hard to keep it together after that night we were just not the same We lost ourselves Just not the memory of that night Unfortunately Some parts I remember more  vividly My skin feels ***** Just remembering I know you felt guilty And I have to admit that For a long time I hated all of you But never as much as I hated myself For losing control For not finding the words to say No For thinking that maybe, That maybe if I drank enough I could drown the voices in my head telling me to **** myself I wasn't satisfied with my life I'm still not satisfied with my life No matter how much alcohol I drink No matter how much I fill my lungs with smoke It won't ever fill this empty void. Everyone was laughing and dancing downstairs. But I felt sick. He said he would help me feel better. He was my friend. My body felt heavy I just wanted to lie down. I could smell the tequila on his breath as he whispered "Trust me". I closed my eyes in hopes that he would stop. He said "Don't worry, I've done this before" My voice was gone I stayed there in silence He left to the bathroom I left his bedroom Stumbling Crying He almost got what he wanted And nobody helped me Instead, We tried pretending that nothing had happened We all blamed each other Best friends forever But No longer together I'm done pretending that nothing happened I'm done making up excuses as to why I freeze up when I'm touched at times I'm done staying quiet But I want you to know that I'm done being angry It wasn't your fault I shouldn't have blamed you And despite everything, I forgive him too. I remember back when were five years old full of laughter and joy We thought nothing could ever touch us. Back when we were invincible.
0
Sep 20, 2018
Sep 20, 2018 at 12:40 PM UTC
BFF
We were five years old full of laughter and joy We thought nothing could touch us Invincible as we ran through the field at recess We swore we were the Fastest The quickest We grew up together? No. we grew apart together. held hands with my best friends In 6th grade Making a pact that neither of us would do drugs But it's three in the morning And I'm smoking my second bowl at the beach. Traded my Capri sun for a cup of lean We run from the cops because we still swear we're the Fastest The quickest We still think we're untouchable Even as we walk through these halls sleep deprived Nobody knows what happened last night We wish we didn't know what happened that night We refuse to acknowledge the events of that night We won't even manage to look at each other in the eye When they ask who's at fault We repeat Not I Not I So what does this mean for us? Is this what we were so excited for? Is this the moment we were so impatient for? I couldn't wait to grow up Now we're in the bathroom throwing up These drugs we refuse to give up I'm lost in a life that I was not prepared for It's not like I didn't have a plan In fact, We had a plan V was going to be a teacher J was was going to be a fire fighter N was going to be a power ranger don't know how but we were five and everything seemed possible And I well I wanted to change the world But you know things happen People change V is having a baby J is moving dope N is six feet under And I? Well, I'm trying really hard to keep it together after that night we were just not the same We lost ourselves Just not the memory of that night Unfortunately Some parts I remember more  vividly My skin feels ***** Just remembering I know you felt guilty And I have to admit that For a long time I hated all of you But never as much as I hated myself For losing control For not finding the words to say No For thinking that maybe, That maybe if I drank enough I could drown the voices in my head telling me to **** myself I wasn't satisfied with my life I'm still not satisfied with my life No matter how much alcohol I drink No matter how much I fill my lungs with smoke It won't ever fill this empty void. Everyone was laughing and dancing downstairs. But I felt sick. He said he would help me feel better. He was my friend. My body felt heavy I just wanted to lie down. I could smell the tequila on his breath as he whispered "Trust me". I closed my eyes in hopes that he would stop. He said "Don't worry, I've done this before" My voice was gone I stayed there in silence He left to the bathroom I left his bedroom Stumbling Crying He almost got what he wanted And nobody helped me Instead, We tried pretending that nothing had happened We all blamed each other Best friends forever But No longer together I'm done pretending that nothing happened I'm done making up excuses as to why I freeze up when I'm touched at times I'm done staying quiet But I want you to know that I'm done being angry It wasn't your fault I shouldn't have blamed you And despite everything, I forgive him too. I remember back when were five years old full of laughter and joy We thought nothing could ever touch us. Back when we were invincible.
sin-1
Written by
24/F/Seattle
Sep 20, 2018
Sep 20, 2018 at 12:40 PM UTC
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