#spoke
Foreign bedrooms and strange bathrooms
Temperatures surging to 39 degrees
Skin peeling off, my melanin can’t take the zero humidity
I think god is trying to install my humility
You have to see how far I came
You have to see how close I came
Coming to you
Oh baby, I was coming to you
I’m not lying when I say
I was coming to you
And I fantasised about what I’ll say
The pick-up lines and the rhymes
The kind of dress I’ll wear
And the offerings I’ll bear
The moves I’ll make
And all the risks I’ll stake
Fell in the hands of dubious agents
Took the money but never delivered the flight
And I had to wait I had to fight
But all my efforts came to naught
I’m back sleeping on my smelly couch
Crying my heart out
You have to see how far I came
You have to see how close I came
Coming to you
Oh baby, I was coming to you
I swear
I wasn’t lying when I said
I was coming to you
And I fantasised about what I’ll say
When I first meet you
The kind of smile I’ll wear
The kiss I’ll plant on your forehead
How I’ll manoeuvre my fingers round your torso
While I savour the perfume on your hair
And the sea almost swallowed me
On the second attempt
And my friends try to console me
Telling me maybe it wasn’t meant to be
But they don’t know our chemistry
They haven’t seen how you look at me
They don’t know I how good I felt
When your hands rubbed off on me
You have to see how close I came
I wasn’t playing no game when I said
I’m coming to you
Oh baby, I was coming to you
I swear
I wasn’t lying when I said
I was Coming to you
And I drove through pitched black forests
Dusty and sandy fields for like a hundred thousand miles
Drove through mountains and abandoned cities
Sat in the car until my butchicks began to bleed
Boarded a boat through an unforgiving sea storm
It overturned, and I lost all my belongings
But I held on to your address in my head
And I fantasised about what I’ll say
The pick-up lines and the rhymes
The kind of dress I’ll wear
And the offerings I’ll bear
The moves I’ll make
And all the risks I’ll stake
But my dream died when he married you
May 6
May 6, 2026 at 6:40 AM UTC
you said it anyway,
sending me into a spiral.
i didn't need to know
that you can see my back rolls
when i wear a smaller shirt.
but you told me anyway.
i didn't need to know
that
Dec 20, 2025
Dec 20, 2025 at 8:48 AM UTC
but that look
your look
still haunts me
how can so many emotions be wrapped
in an iris?
the last words you said to me
right before you left
had already been spoken
Mar 4, 2021
Mar 4, 2021 at 1:54 AM UTC
she talked and talked
yet no one heard
she talked and
no one listened
they only spoke louder
to them
it didn't matter
she didn't matter
to her
she mattered
what she had to say mattered
no matter how small
they thought
she was
Aug 29, 2020
Aug 29, 2020 at 10:59 PM UTC
you said you'd wait for me,
because you don't want anyone else,
now that we spoke,
will you still wait?
Jul 17, 2020
Jul 17, 2020 at 11:59 AM UTC
It’s okay that they hurt me
because it was a joke.
They were just kidding,
when they kicked and spoke.
No.
It’s not okay to hurt someone,
not even on a joke,
because a joke is supposed to be funny,
and if that’s funny,
then I don’t want to ever laugh again.
Mar 17, 2020
Mar 17, 2020 at 10:38 AM UTC
I probably spoke far too soon
Should've caught my tongue before it fluttered away
I know it left me for I'm at a loss for words
However I don’t think you’ll ever feel the same
Apr 26, 2019
Apr 26, 2019 at 11:21 PM UTC
Zara, love of life,
Spake in curtled call
Allfather, lover of light,
To bestow those "ants of the earth"
And arch-bound as the sinew of bowstrings
Howling as the volley hertz roped
Along the celestial violin
Pluck souls from their bodies
In symphonic prediction
Ascende! On the wings of love's Valkyrie-- in her shining eyes will you greet the stars of the Otherworld!
___________________________
Cleaning hide chunks from Buffalo tusks
There is a stranger, who knocks upon my door
The fire is wide and welcoming,
Borea chides the earthenwork
Outside, the stranger calls
distant through the door.
____________________________________
A last heartsong,
The cup overflown with honey
A facsimile of symmetry
And not distinctly human
There was something to love in that,
Just the simple inclusion
Of all the other animus
Being formed in their conclusions
And following the arrowpoint
Floating by the bolt
What losses there to seek
Beyond a veiled humanity
We strike the fire one last time,
She to travel the mountain passes
Ashen eyes, holding viscous memories solidified
I to gather my quills
My thoughts and brush quickly the embers of love.
Into flame, carried deep into the hearts of the world and explored in violent disassociate
Particles red and hot
Then would Zara Spake again,
"with his eyes on the earth, will he never see but the stars."
Feb 6, 2019
Feb 6, 2019 at 12:42 PM UTC
COLLAB. WITH AUSTIN DRAPER
It’s little more than a quiet thought.
The impending feeling that the loneliness
was a creation of my own imploding self-conscious.
I wouldn’t have hurt you voluntarily,
so what outside force could know my mind so well?
It’s little more than a spoken word.
The rumble of the oncoming storm could be felt
from as close as 1.6 miles away,
where the darkness of your room invaded the
not-so secret spots of your heart.
I’m prone, to the truth in your words.
I’m not used to the idea of confronting my thoughts
And sorting them out to you.
Is it that I spoke wrong words? Or I stopped before they meant anything?
You mean so much, and now you are out of my reach.
Jan 12, 2019
Jan 12, 2019 at 9:39 PM UTC
I never held you, but I feel you.
You never spoke, but I hear you.
I never knew you, but I love you.
Oct 28, 2018
Oct 28, 2018 at 12:01 PM UTC
We were five years old full of laughter and joy
We thought nothing could touch us
Invincible as we ran through the field at recess
We swore we were the
Fastest
The quickest
We grew up together?
No.
we grew apart together.
held hands with my best friends
In 6th grade
Making a pact that neither of us would do drugs
But it's three in the morning
And I'm smoking my second bowl at the beach.
Traded my Capri sun for a cup of lean
We run from the cops because we still swear we're the
Fastest
The quickest
We still think we're untouchable
Even as we walk through these halls sleep deprived
Nobody knows what happened last night
We wish we didn't know what happened that night
We refuse to acknowledge the events of that night
We won't even manage to look at each other in the eye
When they ask who's at fault
We repeat
Not I
Not I
So what does this mean for us?
Is this what we were so excited for?
Is this the moment we were so impatient for?
I couldn't wait to grow up
Now we're in the bathroom throwing up
These drugs we refuse to give up
I'm lost in a life that I was not prepared for
It's not like I didn't have a plan
In fact,
We had a plan
V was going to be a teacher
J was was going to be a fire fighter
N was going to be a power ranger
don't know how but we were five and everything seemed possible
And I
well
I wanted to change the world
But you know things happen
People change
V is having a baby
J is moving dope
N is six feet under
And I?
Well,
I'm trying really hard to keep it together
after that night we were just not the same
We lost ourselves
Just not the memory of that night
Unfortunately
Some parts I remember more vividly
My skin feels *****
Just remembering
I know you felt guilty
And I have to admit that
For a long time
I hated all of you
But never as much as I hated myself
For losing control
For not finding the words to say
No
For thinking that maybe,
That maybe if I drank enough
I could drown the voices in my head telling me to **** myself
I wasn't satisfied with my life
I'm still not satisfied with my life
No matter how much alcohol I drink
No matter how much I fill my lungs with smoke
It won't ever fill this empty void.
Everyone was laughing and dancing downstairs.
But I felt sick.
He said he would help me feel better.
He was my friend.
My body felt heavy I just wanted to lie down.
I could smell the tequila on his breath as he whispered
"Trust me".
I closed my eyes in hopes that he would stop.
He said
"Don't worry, I've done this before"
My voice was gone
I stayed there in silence
He left to the bathroom
I left his bedroom
Stumbling
Crying
He almost got what he wanted
And nobody helped me
Instead,
We tried pretending that nothing had happened
We all blamed each other
Best friends forever
But
No longer together
I'm done pretending that nothing happened
I'm done making up excuses as to why I freeze up when I'm touched at times
I'm done staying quiet
But I want you to know that
I'm done being angry
It wasn't your fault
I shouldn't have blamed you
And despite everything,
I forgive him too.
I remember back when were five years old full of laughter and joy
We thought nothing could ever touch us.
Back when we were
invincible.
Sep 20, 2018
Sep 20, 2018 at 12:40 PM UTC
I look at this blank page
And I just write
I don't think about
What comes to mind
Sometimes
I'm able to find
A silver line
Among the black clouds
That try their best
To block out
The Light
Hope
It gets you through
The night
Jun 22, 2018
Jun 22, 2018 at 7:05 AM UTC
shhh -
in this sylence
i do listen
to the words
thou hast written
of the nyghte
there was spoken
true heartes' devotion
an 'dayes that followed
brought laughter
now sorrowe
an' in the darkness after
beats a hearte
that is hollowed
what one mustte bare
when the hearte be torn
be there a one that cares ?
'twas all for naught ?
'tis all love forlorn ?
shh -
in this sylence
i do listen
to the words
thou hast written
of true loves disaster
an' the mourning after
i send this note
that alle may read
an' it matters not
if none pay heede
as long as
She Does
.
Pic Poem
http://oi60.tinypic.com/rti2aw.jpg
.
.
Mar 10, 2017
Mar 10, 2017 at 10:58 PM UTC
when i was told as a little girl.
"think before you speak"
i knew what mum was getting at
and what dad tried to get me to do.
but.
now i'm older, only a little older than yesteryear.
i was in a slumber.
now i have turned to my night-dreams.
if i thought before i spoke.
maybe i wouldn't have even said a single word.
maybe i would have been so lost in my thoughts
i would forget what i was saying. or thinking.
no one would no what i meant when i thought about tomorrow afternoon. they would stare into my starry eyes and wonder why they even bothered to talk to me. would they?
but i will never know. because.
even when i hurt someone through simple sounds flowing from my mouth. i would still make them cry. kick. scream. yell.
they would always know. that i never thought before i spoke.
or would they.
Mar 26, 2018
Mar 26, 2018 at 7:49 PM UTC
Peek up here
in between the cherry blossoms
Do you see me?
Take a look out the window
of the SUV
In the pillowed dawn-vapor,
My glistening gold wisps
high on the sunset wind
There in the gemstone gift waters
Yoo-hoo, I’m there too
Smile a while
you’re going to be here a bit
Relax, take off your muddy shoes
Go for a midnight swim
and see if you fit in
I made it so you thought you wouldn’t
But I swear I made you
to do great things
Look at that! You made my light
Put it into a glass glowing pear
And hung it up in the garden
I knew I couldn’t keep you in
And now you make
metal teeth
And metal rocks
and distance me
My seeds of life fall
cherry blossoms
An **** of dying
at the end of spring
But I love the building
Blocks you made
And all the honors that you sing
To claim me as your own
As you cut down the roots
Of my older age
Peek-a-boo! I see you
Smile a thousand miles wide
I will kiss your baby cheeks with UV
Radiation in the perfect count
And you will warm with glee
Hey! Now I'll show you our history
Old sedimentary bones
Crack your minds
With a thousand worlds
I let go
Because I truly wanted you.
Where will you go?
I cannot say
The man I live in
only knows today
Tomorrow is yet
for me to know
the future holds
innumerable fates
Hello you!
A thousand babel towers
Taller than anything I could make
Just kidding; I built it all
Too much for you
To take
Keep trying, though
That’s the point
I want you to want to be me
Well, I want you to want me,
For me,
It’s best for me and you
Jan 3, 2018
Jan 3, 2018 at 10:08 PM UTC
She wouldn't, couldn't give her name,
but they still took her in when she called.
I visited, adopted her,
though she must have been in her twenties.
We called her Monica. It seemed to fit.
She never spoke, sitting at her half opened window,
sampling a sliver of the fraught stree air.
I don't think she could take any more of the real world.
She stayed there safe in her dull, blue walled retreat,
an observer, lacking a ticket of entry.
And when darkness fell, and the curtains were closed,
the house lights went up on her secret, inner theatre.
May 1, 2017
May 1, 2017 at 2:01 PM UTC
His voice was muffled
He rang,
I answered
Each word he said came with a crackle and the loss of a letter
To me, it didn't matter that I couldn't hear every word he said
To me, he spoke so I would I understand
And I did,
even through the distortion
And every time he spoke,
he meant 'I love you'
Mar 21, 2017
Mar 21, 2017 at 5:25 PM UTC