after the fire she did not close her eyes for weeks
too afraid a sleeping moment would instantly **** her family
like it almost did last time
oh - only think what if she didn't wake up to puke because
she didn't eat bad sushi
or only what if, if she didn't have the audacity
to jump out the window while holding a baby

sleeping might be dead next time
who guarantees the flames are not just lingering in this new home
waiting around for the next peacefull moment
who guarantees sleeping is safe?

her eyelids keep blinking
eyes tearing like there's already smoke again
another cup of coffee should buy a few more minutes of being awake which means being safe for now

another few moments, another few minutes
blinking eyelids... have to.. kept open
fearful heart should... stay awake
safety.. family...
i know why... i shouldn't sleep