if only you knew
the way I listen when you scream
as you attempt to tear me
from my every singular seem

if only you knew
the way I wish I could still hold you
or fulfill all those dreams
and fairy tales that I told you

if only you knew
how I think about you every night
hoping you'll call
or visit, or at the least write

if only you knew
how much I mean it when I apologize
or how much it hurts
when you think it's all lies

if only you knew
how much I hate my many mistakes
or how with one word
my heart crumbles and breaks

but I hope you know
what ever happens, I won't go away
goodbye is the one thing
I simply can't manage to say