From the first moment of conception, as yours cells sprang to pull apart from one another as if making two from one was an admirable accomplishmen excellence was expected from you. "Excel boldly towards great expectations!" Affectionately inscribed to shine in the sun.
All those eyes swirling around you insisting you smile so bright. Bloom to a flower despite the rocky soil of suburban streets.
Master your studies Love like a poet Live like a saint Make lots of friends Make no mistakes Contribute to history **** like a champ Take the pain in stride Then die like a hero
Great care was put into raising you. Your parents stood from a pedestal and flung you into the sky expecting you to fly despite your feeble limbs and fear of heights. Flying through the air with eyes like eclipses. Given a pen to write great words ...guess they never noticed it had no ink.
You stand in the mirror for hours they think you a narcissist. You couldn't be far from it, just confused. Confused as to how anyone could think of you as special and grand. Confused at how everyone else is so much better at simply living their lives. Like it weren't such a great, tremendous ordeal.
It's like no one else notices the beauty in watching two specks of dust converse in the breeze. How is no one else fascinated at sitting, perched on a street bench watching the passer-bys go about their days?
Staring at those strange eyes trying to see what they see. Trying to see how anyone could fail to notice those corpses for eyes you have. Eyes where the iris wilted; nothing left but pupil. Black, monstrous pupil.
All those times you watched the ones you loved stand in horror at those eyes. The sheen of night reflecting their portrait back to them. Seeing far too much of the world. Seeing what they don't see. Monstrous things, terrible things. You want to scream these overwhelming thoughts to the world but theysuffocateamidtheblareofbusystreets. Words fallen upon distracted ears.
You found shelter in the darkest corner of existence still expected to converse happily still expected to live with a smile still expected to hide your unfortunate understanding of the way things really worked in this absurd world in our infinite Universe. The abyss gazes also and its faced has likened to yours.
You do not fear eternity eternity is every day of your life the only thing temporary are those fleeting seconds of happiness that others seem to reside in.
But I shouldn't say that you don't care. You do You can't help but care. Hell, you tried not to. You really tried. Tried not to care for the quiet girl across the room, or for the gutter cats with no bowl of food the children across the world whose problems are so much worse than yours. You've fallen in love so hard you tore you heart in two one for him and one for you, one for her and one for you. All those countless times the moonlight messenger solemnly informed you that your love died in a tomb, never to be revived. You looked to the sky but it was cloudy, there weren't even any stars to defy.
You're expected for great love but you never expected the way your heart pounds and your stomach turns when you fight back the tears of a great love lost. Staring into a devastated face seeing in perfect form a heart you've shattered.
It's like they don't know just how burdensome these great expectations are.
But perhaps -- most importantly -- they don't understand the beauty of a sunrise after a sleepless, crying night or the gratitude felt from finding a legitimate hand to hold.
You are expected for great things, everyone thinks they are. Let them earn their degrees to live in boxes with greatly expected children. Let them live their lives, they are just trying to be happy.
But you, but me, but all the rest of the people like us. Let us leave this place with the preoccupations and the pedestals.
Our bodies strengthened by the expectations we abandoned in exchange for a peaceful sunset and that little light we forgot shone in these tired, confused, marvelous eyes.