It's November 25 and I'm wondering if I've become less vacant than I was two months ago. I still drift off in the nothingness of the white walls. I still black out during my showers, then find myself laying the tub. My bathtub has become a safe haven to me. That's ironic, you know? 2 years ago that was the spot I tried to open my veins and watch the demons spill. I'm still worrying about the downfalls of tomorrow and if it's worth waking up anymore, but at least I can smile again. That's a start.