I cannot lie about my station in life.
I know that it is  the direct result of my choices.
At some point I made  a choice  that did no good,
though at first, right then, in that moment
It seemed alright, ill effects, truthful toll unnoticed.
And I will not pretend that I' ve made so many,
hundreds,.. thousands?
Some are worse than the others,
few are borderline as at their worst they do no harm.
Then there are the milestones.
The horrendous game changers that narrowed options.
I look back, now, from this, my aparent station.
My role in the scheme of things.
Who I am and all that I lack,
with my head lowered, and my eyes squeezed tight
reliving, regretting... in acceptance.
I made my choices and I earned all that I have,
Or worse, all I'll never get.
Long ago I made these choices at a great expense.
In the heat of those moments
Their ultimate and yet to be completed prices
they seemed weightless, and had no warning tags...
Well, all but the addictive types that we are told of.
Warned, schooled, shown facts, pictures  and advertisements
But the those were for the others,
Not a master of his this world, his life,
his was supposed to be bulletproof, unbeatable, perfect..
Well to that kid I say hello,..
from this low, unwanted and barely capable existance.
Long ago I made these choices.