I want to lay down in snow banks and smoke cigarettes and feel the toxin-filled air freeze in my lungs and just die, nicotine and ice inside the void that is my body. I want my empty hands to be open and my eyes facing the sky, the last sunset I will ever witness forever trapped inside them. I want the cold wind to lift my soul from my prison-body and carry me into the clouds. I want to be at peace at last.