following the happiness and exuberance
of others
   in my head
wishing, hoping, craving for
the realness of that
   in me
willing my mind to soar
instead of descending
into the depths of despair
this all consuming darkness
is overpowering
the grayness of the days is suffocating
i am crying out for an illumination of time
bring me the essence of a brilliant sunrise to sunset
show me the wonderment of a prismatic world
ensure in me pure exultation.