it's hard when the numbness starts to fade out,
and the real world starts to hit me.
dumping ice water of sanity over me;
i'm drowning in fear of fate,
what my future really holds.
i can't force myself to breathe
my chest tightens and i see white
how do people face these things?
what is it like to be sane?
i've never really known
not since what he did to me.
that's why i can't live in sobriety,
because the closer i am to sanity,
i reach the height of my anxiety
and i'm further out of control.
sometimes i don't think i'll make it out,
that i can't force myself to live
because i lose my will a lot.
so i try my best to keep myself insane
because the last thing i want to be -
is saved.

September 19, 2014 9:58pm
- newportsmooths h.g.