gurgling phlegm
rattles
there is no cure
for time and fate
cool, clammy skin
hides vibrancy
and life –
memories flood
biblical
my mother fades
never to grace my home
again
physically
but instead, incorporeal
she will be with me always –
rollercoaster emotions
battle the logical mind
I struggle with the work
and oil
that, while giving us another year
couldn’t create immortality
….. a goal I didn’t realize
I was fighting for –
gently rubbing
skin coated skeleton arms
I race within myself
for an answer
or solution
to death
of a loved one –
I tell myself
“This is not the first,
and it will not be the last”
but words bring little comfort
and poetry seems trite –
sinking back into the darkness
of a troubled
and worried
mind
I peer into the room she will die in
examining the angles
criticizing the drapes
hating the color scheme
blaming ambiance
for my pain –