My mom keeps asking if
he and I have had a "falling out".
I keep saying no,
but somehow she always knows what's going on.
I was getting defensive,
and she asked if he tried to get fresh with me.
I said no,
thinking "he already tried that, and succeeded"

I never really thought "getting fresh" was a problem.
Today's society revolves around that.
Girls are taught that if a guy wants to touch your **** or *****,
you should let him,
but only after you've made him beg for a bit.

It's sad, really.
My mom asked me this
because she thought I had enough decency
not to "get fresh" with him.
But little does she know,
this society shaped me into someone I don't like
because she never tried to teach me how to be respectable.
Don't get me wrong,
my mother is a great mom who wants the best for me
and she is respected by my father.
You would think that I would
use their relationship as an example
but I guess I didn't.
I've done disreputable, immoral
things with him.
And I never thought twice about it.
I knew the first time I did those things,
that it wasn't right,
but I couldn't stop.
And then when I did them with him,
outside of a commitment,
I knew it was wrong
but I didn't care.
I was so numb
and used to it
that I didn't care enough about myself
to stop.

So,
Sorry mom.
I am not a little angel
and I am not your little girl.
The devil has been in control of me
and I liked it.
But I know better,
so Im changing who I am.
Im going to be more respectful to my body.
I am not going to let others sweet talk me into their beds,
or mine for that matter.