It's been three years and seven months since i seen your face.
I remember when i was little, and you would chase...
You were the dad i never had, and for that i am forever thankful.
When i think of you, i can't breathe and it's too much to handle.
I am sorry for the pain you went through, i wish i could have taken it from you.
I miss all the times we would spend together, and the time i could talk to you.
I was there on your last day..
And i didn't even know what to say...
I wanted to whisper i love you, and it will all be okay...
And at one point i did, but, you didn't make it to see another day..
I should have stayed by your side like you stayed by mine.
But i was selfish and i thought you would be fine.
I'm sorry daddy, for all the pain you felt before the end.
I miss you and i don't know how to make it through; to pretend.
I would give anything in this world to see you one more time...
I would give anything; commit any crime...
I never knew what i had until i lost it, and now i have to pay the price.
I would give anything to be able to go and make up for not being so nice.
I watched the monster inside slowly take over your body, i watched you die.
I held your hand as i watched you laying in agony, but you didn't cry.
I wonder, were you being strong because you know it was the end...?
....Or were you being strong, because you knew i would fall and bend...?
I would have done anything to take the monster out of you and put it in me.
But I guess that's not how it happens, see...
I grew up knowing I had the best grandpa in the whole world...
I remember when you watched me as i twirled..
All those good memories are just wiped away by the pain of your memory.
I would do anything in the world to have you back in the world with me.
There are days when i wake up and i just wanna close my eyes and fade away.
I wake up thinking, 'Why do i have to live another day..?'
I don't want this life, and you fought for it...so shouldn't i be grateful..?
But instead i am hateful.
I want to tell me it's alright, that i will be okay..
That i will soon see a better day..
But you can't and i have no idea how to accept that you're gone from me.
I would give anything to have you back, give anything to just see...
You are the one other person in this world who believed in me..
You never judged or made me feel not good enough, you saw me for me.
I am sorry for the pain you went through; you never leave my head.
I think of you, and all i wanna do cry and lay in bed...
But it's time to say goodbye...
No more pain left, and no more tears, because i know you are always nearby.