i thought about seeing her in a private environment like sitting in her room by herself on her knees surrounded by her own messes and scanning the internet for something to spend her time on. do you ever picture yourself on the outside looking in? Does it make you feel like jumping up, and immediately pick up a ***** coffee mug and a bag of marshmellows to take to the kitchen. Does it almost make you stand up and change your clothes like your best friend (your only friend) is coming over? Does it sink in that sometimes you just donβt belong and that friend never comes over or messages you or invites you out to eat. Why do your friendships last as long as a boquet of peachy roses? Suddenly you see yourself: walking over to the glass flower vase for fresh water when you know itβs too late.
2.
he used to look at me like he was eager to have a word or more. he says, he says, that this union is forever babe. something makes me feel that truth but loving is really hard when we flirt with mythical creatures and **** **** to numb the reality that loving you is never enough.
3. your breaking my heart, your breaking my heart this is harder than anything i feared. you listen to the playlist of your high school years because something makes it hard to breathe. folded knees, somebody please, save me from the mess I made. it's the same old story, just different lines and i'm tired of playing the same role. isn't someone listening? I can hardly breathe on this black stage am I supposed to pretend that this isn't real? That after this, we could just go home and be together? You're falling apart, you're falling apart every ounce of energy wants to cry out loud but instead of tears, hot salty forums of unhappiness, your turn the music up to drown out the loneliness and boredom.