Pouncing through my door with his huge, squishy hands,
he laughs manically and ask,
..."where's the can?"
I lead him the way soaked with disgust,
this man... Ole Saint Nick looks like he's gonna bust.
He comes out, hangs his coat.
His hands look real dry.
I don't think he washed them,
doubt that he'd try.
You'd think this is all a joke.
This man is just so sick.
There is no way this gross old man could be good Ole Saint Nick!
He scratches his scalp,
flakes fly all around.
He **-hos' and ha-has'
as they fall on my ground.
I finally speak without any fear.
"Okay 'Santa', why are you here?"
He **-hos',"Elfy-boy! Tiny! ******! Dear kid! You're so very small, it seemed as if you hid. A simmering *** like you could really use a lid.
I came because of traffic. It's really crowded in the sky. Do you know how many planes are up there? And it's always worse at this time. Besides, don't you want me here? Maybe you got something too. In fact, if you want, looking in the bag gives you something to do!"
So I did just as he said.
Something he got for me?
He has no idea!
That would actually make me happy!
Something dark ran down my shoulders and right over my head.
I was so absolute I was completely and utterly dead.
Then a noise came about, shining light on to me.
My nightmare had come true.
Santa kidnapped me again,
because he had nothing better to do.