i.
A creature lurks in my mind, has overtaken me in some manner.

ii.
It is a creature because it is a feeling that has grown to unimaginable proportions and has developed limbs to walk around the crevices of my thoughts.

iii.
This creature is an unidentified state of dissatisfaction. It is a hungry beast and I've spent the majority of my short life trying to fill its insatiable appetite. At first, I thought its desire was human affection. I tried to find it a home that would house us both,
a heart that was big enough for us and kind enough
to let us rest and be content. This only worked for so long as each time as each fragile heart eventually fell apart and we were left to fend for ourselves.

iv.
Maybe I can't fill it with broken hearts or rebellious impulses.
Maybe--
I will never satiate its hunger.

v.
I don't know what I'm doing, I don't want to know sometimes
I embrace recklessness but I am also
direction-less, weaving intricate
patterns of distress in my skull,
this--
I can't control.

vi.

what am I even doing, what am I doing,
what do I even want, what do I do,
I feel oppressed without a clear
sign of oppression, I am
not a sheep--
I'm not to be led.

vii.


help me.