i can remember your hands on my body
and feel entirely on fire
and i can remember the softness
of lying in your arms
and my entire heart softens with sadness

i can miss you with such strength
i can miss you with such pain
i can acknowledge inside of me i love you

but i can remember two weeks
and when you didn't hold me
and your sidestepping my anger and me as well

i am in love with who was mine.
i did trust you not to make yourself
to me someone who i would not
think to be with.
(this is selfish i know. i expected to stay unhurt,
i expected to recognize you in all your forms;
you showed me one i did not know you occupied)

i stay with my thumb
running across the features of your face,
loving you as you were mine.

i love you goodbye and tell you
that i will try to understand,
now, when you are not mine.

*sunday, november.16.2014, 6:03 P.M.