i am so desperate
to fade into
ashes
and grey
and smoke;
please there is nothing to see

walk through me
i was never here
anyway

there are sparks
of light and of
warmth
that ravage me
inside
happiness?

it is cold again
and the ashes of
me, darker
than the nights i
have forgotten how to
fear

i flee from dawn
in night's stead
black is familiar
and what can be
seen through this smoke?
the reds and oranges and yellows
of sunrise
spear and pierce and terrorize
my ghost eyes

light burns feeling
and life through me -

by dusk
i am only ash
longing to be set
alight once more