a tractor pushes its way through the snow on the field
gulls and rooks follow in its wake
the sky a dull grey the sun wiped out or nearly so
hear Yiska the wind through the trees the birds calling
hear the snowflakes silently falling hear our breath expressing as we speak or remain silent
feel Yiska the snowflakes on our faces on our noses
hold out your slim hand let the palms hold the snow
feel my closeness sense me drawing near
the nurses are talking they talk of their love lives of the *** they've had
hear their words how they tease us their words of ******* and freedom and normality
feel the emptiness bite us
our nerves taut as wire as we walk
see Yiska how they walk the nurses behind us and before us
see how their heavy coats hold them their black boots marching like troopers
hear the nattering of their lips and tongues
sense my mental fatigue and yours and ours
wait Yiska they will take us back to the hospital soon and lock us up once more in the white ward with the dull water coloured prints and photographs of yesteryears
be near Yiska let our fingers touch let us feel too little or sense too much.
ON A WALK IN THE GROUNDS OF A MENTAL HOSPITAL WINTER 1971.