Do not lecture me on the present or now

I will spend the rest of my life

Trying to live in the past

I will spend my entire life

Trying to find what I already lost for good

And this will never change

Because the only constant I'm allowed to have

Is to regret wasting what I had

And I will regret wasting this moment writing ****** poetry

And I already do

Because I could have had what I want

If I didn't squander my nights like this

If I didn't waste my days feeling sorry for myself

Maybe I could be who I wanted to be

If I was allowed just more constant

Just please give me one more thing that isn't so changeable

Just one thing

*please...