i am a bible of verses
a scripture of curses
how many sins can you find
staining my skin
i bleed paperthin and only when i take the time
to drip instead of flood
but i suppose we can't all build arks to save ourselves
from drowning unexpectedly
on a trip to tennessee i learned what it means to tell a girl
how i feel and not care what the
reply would be
it turned out better than i had hoped and maybe it was the unexpected
that caused me to stay afloat
but i've got poison in my veins
a river of remains from every last person that's tried to save me
she got lucky
caught herself just before the cliff gave way
saved herself from the damage i keep hidden within
she got out
alive
so why do i feel so horribly convinced that i'm going to die
why do i feel so horribly unsatisfied
i'm too terrified to even touch her
know that my hands have become live wires set to shock
something fatal
i'm
something fatal
and now that i've got empty palms and a bleeding heart
i understand what it means to fall apart
i paint myself black and blue
terrified of fading translucent pale
terrified that if i don't keep the colors in my skin
if i don't remind myself how to bruise
i'll disappear
into the waiting arms of my ribcage
never has my body felt more like a prison
than when it keeps me pushing
at all the wrong bars
keeps me rushing
at all the wrong guards
i'm breaking myself in two
thousand pieces of mismatched shards of glass
that were never meant to be collected into something beautiful
i'm the leftover scraps
of finished pieces and i guess maybe the pieces that are missing
are the ones i allowed her to keep
she's gorgeous in her entirety
so maybe it's worth
this feeling of shattering