What do I deserve?

My answer fluctuates between love and death
you see

Curiosity didn't exactly **** the cat
It just left it crippled in the road
For someone else to run over

Is this so wrong, this self destruction.
All you need is love
To bring you down and demolish
Every ounce of self-worth, but
Is this so wrong.

The luster that comes and goes
Sustains not myself
For lack of sustenance will be the end of me
And love, the fickle jester
Taunts and flaunts her invaluable charms
Just out of
forever out of reach.