Since age 5 I was taught
to wear loose clothing
and not talk about eating.
"No, you can't have that shirt
with the Hershey's logo across the front.
You're already overweight,
let's just slap a label on it."

My mother doesn't know that
every day I still hear her voice
telling me to tilt my head up
in pictures and to go outside already.

I remember age 9 as my dad
telling me I was smart and my mom
telling me I couldn't buy that shirt
because it clung to my stomach.

I was taught to never talk about food
because it would always be met with
"of course".

Mother dearest, I know you meant well
but your coaching lead your little girl
to value the size of her thighs over
what she learned at school today.
You wanted to protect me from
the world, but didn't protect me
from myself.

Teaching is not telling me that
I had no willpower at age 8
and you forced me to accept myself
because nobody else would.

But trust me, mother,
you were never consciously hurtful
so I need to let you know:
the next time there is a little girl
that looks up to you, do not tell her
that she has to watch what she eats
or she will never get respect.
Do not tell her that "It's your body,"
when she asks for just one more brownie.

Just make sure that you love her numerically more
than that number on the scale.