We could have almost made it
if only this, if that, and the other thing
if it weren't for those reasons...

I could have been the one you needed
if it weren't for the fact that I needed
but we always come to this stalemate
because we come first in our own lives

I could be a happy person
if I didn't know you
if I could find a way
to never let you keep talking me back into

You could maybe be the one I need
if you weren't so busy
seeing in everyone else
what you alone provide

in your paranoia
you are blind to the facts
I have learned from my mistakes
while you are still living them

how can you claim you love me
when you are the first who told me
that it never matters
love is never enough

I wish I could wade through
everything you put on me
all of this is too sticky
and I am just sinking

I wish I could delete
the things you think about me
telling me I'm worthless
just because you can't have your way

the madness in your eyes
telling me all you want is more
of my pain, for your gain
your desire for me to expire

I wish I could rinse off
the bruises and scars on my skin
to wipe the slate clean
to become whole again

I wish I could forgive myself
but there are only so many times
you can keep making the same mistake
before it becomes a choice

well.... almost....