When you look at me,
What do you see?
A tall girl?
The nerd with glasses to match?

When I look in a mirror
I see a disgrace of a human
An atrocity
A monster parents tell their children about at night.

I have cuts and scars
That no one will be able to see.
I have bruises
Where I just went with the punches.

Going home and seeing scarlet
Is now a routine for me
Where everyday
I always hurt myself for being unique.

My mental health is deteriorating,
And soon my friends will leave me behind.
When they realize the truth,
I'll be waging a war alone.

Without an army,
A beaten and injured soldier is sure to die.
So it makes sense for them
To end it themselves.

All I hear are comments
Inside my brain
Criticizing me for my flaws
Killing me from the inside out.

I've already succumb to submission.
I no longer try
And if I don't try,
I'll never fail, never miss someone's expectations.

So it's best this way.
I'll stay a zombie, with the dead stare
But all I ask
Is that you **** me slowly.

It cannot be as painful as what I've been through
What I've heard
What I've been told
Who I am

Because everything's better
Then who I've turned out to be.