i was put to bed
nearly an hour ago

but i couldn't stand to
   crawl into a bed
i wasn't tired enough
   to fall asleep in
after so many previous failed attempts

room illuminated
by the computer screen
used only to light the pages
i'm staining with my thoughts
such an unpleasant feeling it gives off,
having nothing but cold undertones
as if it's trying to warn you
not to get ****** into its
bitter, emotionless world

all the awake
i was missing out on last year
has finally caught up to me
and here i am,
sitting up late
not being able to bear
another failure
at something that used to be
so easy,
so simple

now i wait
and hope with all my might
that the sleep will come
and take me away
from this place
once again