I have to admit I am caught between storms -
Of friendship
Of love
Of lust

And I cannot imagine one without the other two,
A trifecta of an immeasurable soul.

Because I have a deep sense of attachment to each part of this
Relationship
That now has inconceivably doubled:
I like you both.

And now I am caught in this dichotomy of I think of the other,
I smile with the other,
Which one should be the other?

He wants me to give more of myself,
While he does more than I.

Which do I put myself out for?

What if, in this scenario, I gave a part of myself to the second,
That I haven’t to the first?
I did.

But the first has taken a part of me that is deeper,
Below the skin, the surface.
And challenges me to the extent that
He knows who I am and where I’ve been.

And what about today?
Disclosing his failed attempts with his last lovers,
Not making me one,
But taking my trust and putting it in the palm of his hand?

But then there’s the second,
Who in what small measure
Has managed to smear my concept of time
And gave everything in the palm of his hand.

A whirlwind of staying up all-night and sharing
These small hours,
Imprinting him on my mind.

Who is safer?