It drives me nuts,
I just want to take my brain out
of its cage
and examine every corner,
every nook and cranny
and find what I'm looking for.
Every thing's in there,
it's just a matter of finding it.
I used to remember
the way your hand felt against mine,
as we ran against the world.
Now, I've buried under tons and tons of
heartbreak and equations and dates and everything
wrong and right in my mind.
Now, I just need to grab my shovel and dig.
Now, I need to find it.
Now, I will collapse and cry once I find it again.
Maybe there's a reason why I had buried it all along.

*What I have lost.. What I will lose
to think about it brings forth
an indescribable pain and longing
for an alternate future
The way I spend this day
The way I could spend this exact day
if not for certain events that
act like a barricade in your way
Now.. I spend my days alone in my mind
while I should've woken up today
with you by my side
Lost the chance to look you in your eyes
tell you I love you
and show you love still exists
in this life
lost the chance to make you feel alive
Lost the chance to forget
because you're ever so present
within my mind
What I want is to be lost
within your eyes
what I want to lose is a life
filled with all these lies
I want to lose this shadow behind
and walk forward with you by my side
What I've lost is time
made precious with and without your presence
What I've lost and longed for
was buried and dead
uncovered, lost and forgotten memories
stuck within the depths of your head
..and I can't let go
..and I can't let go