You saw me. Not just the bouncy quirky girl With bright mismatched fingerless gloves Skipping and laughing, Playing along. - You saw me. Me, who even I hadn't seen. Or realised existed.
Arms wide You made it clear I could be open Something no one else had achieved. Such a caring flowed forth I felt myself broken In places I hadn't dared admit And these you hugged Compassionately tended to. As I tended to yours. A unity of sorrow, art And poetry
But it was spoilt. We both needed growth Find that inner strength. Your resentment Triggered my passivity Until I was manipulated dumb - By us both And soon I exploded And ran I didn't know any other way But neither did you.
And you slipped to the other side Of what? That great unknown curtain. It's almost two years now. I feel you tend to me still As others in my web do too. I am healing, growing, Coming into my own.
I tried to write this for you, Luke. An ode. But in the end it's for me anyway. It's always for me. I guess I just wanted to say "I'm glad I didn't die before I met you" Thank you for all you gifted me All I have learnt You are love and light - Aren't we all?
I don't like blame. I've blamed myself too often. As I have blamed you. Either everyone is to blame - or no one. And I like the latter. Things just happen sometimes. That's life. "I'm glad I didn't die before I met you" from 'First day of My Life' by Bright Eyes - I used to serenade Luke with this song. He was so happy when I first learnt it. It will always be dedicated to him. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ztGPYPArAyE