i always thought i loved boys
i was meant to be there
i forced myself to care for someone who cared about me just as much as someone cares for a ******* grain of sand
endless self hatred and changing myself to someone i did not even ******* know
i would have burned myself away to feel good enough for you
but that still would not have made him love me
i craved attention
from anything or anyone because feeling beautiful was something missing within me
feeling good enough is something that does not come easy
because all my life i have been nothing but a ******* burden to anyone who crosses my path
then i met someone i didnt even know ******* existed
someone who made me feel like the stars were made for me
someone whos smile and giggle could make me feel more ******* alive than anytime before
and this time it wasnt a boy
a gorgeous girl
her names kayla
two years ago i couldnt even imagine marrying anyone
let alone a girl
but this girl has my heart so ******* tight in her hands
i would do anything for her
she makes all the bad parts inside of myself close out
make all the scars i had opened previously heal
i cant wait for this one girl to walk down the ******* aisle to me
and just know shes mine forever