I can't afford  a doctor so
I put my tail between my legs
licked my *** and went to the vet.

She said,
I may have distemper.
I need my shots, I was vaccinated.

After the de-licing
they fed me a bowl of brown stuff,
Oh, I needed de-worming.
Not very de-licious, grrrlll.

When they were all done,
they put my collar back on,
Put me a red and white and blue bandana
on.

Petted me politely and said,
I was done. Glad, Thank God,
I was already neutered.