In my junior year of high school my teacher had us write two separate lists
One of all of the things we hated about ourselves and one of all the things we loved about ourselves
The first was the easiest and I remember filling a page and a half of things I would **** myself over

We ripped these into shreds and threw them in a fire in the science lab

The latter was the hardest thing I have ever done in my life and I remember only filling half a page, with every other line screaming
I WILL NOT BE A STATISTIC

With each scream the words got more assertive and dark and permanent

I keep that letter zipped in a pocket with my razors

Tonight I left it folded there