everyone believes they are the best at something
and I used to think I was the smartest,
but as people started getting higher and higher grades
and I stayed at my comfortable 96, I realized
that I am second, or third
I used to think I was the most athletic,
because my mile time was the fastest in my PE class,
but maybe I didn't realize that my class was at
Sacred Heart, and I was the smartest in middle school,
and that in Theatre I cannot make up for my lack of feeling
and I cannot let go
and I have been so focused on myself that I am lagging in the dynamics, I missed something
I missed about a month of moments and glances
and I am not as involved as I should be-
I have failed in latching to the people around me
and they slip by, waxy now, for I cannot catch up
there are secrets I do not know, glances I do not understand
I have been in survival mode for so long
that I have not been able to live-
I am not the best at speaking, or making friends,
or working group dynamics, or basketball,
or school, or math, or violin, or acting-
maybe my mom is wrong.
Maybe I am a B student.