My lack of confidence in myself is a weight I feel I'll always carry.
Its not like I don't have courage, but its like watered down whiskey.
It still has the burn, but it takes a minute to hit me.
They say if you work hard enough you can do anything you want to.
But every time that I try something new.
It always has the same outcome, ashes and smoke.
Like my attempts at creating something to be remembered by, are nothing but a ******* joke.
So excuse me if I'm not as confident as I try to appear.
Sometimes I guess I just get lost in my own fear.
That I'll end up like my father with no job and no life.
To be left with nothing, but two kids and a ******* ex-wife.
I once thought love was the reason why I wanted to write.
Now I realize I do it just so I can sleep better at night.
Because pixels and pens gave me a confidence I've never had before.
I might not be ready to make that jump yet, but I'm getting closer that's for sure.