My hands are still shaking because I know I'll never speak to you again. I am still crying because I know I'll never hear your laughter again. I am still mourning over the idea of never hearing you cry again. I am still nervously laughing because I'll never hear your lies again. And maybe I never had time to let these sink in, because quite honestly I've never been so ****** up. But maybe I never was okay and now I'm letting you take the blame. For you are never going to be able to defend yourself again, and quite honestly, I'm still bitter.