i spoke of you in the past tense
i spoke of you with a scarlet ex
the words got caught in my throat
and clung on trying not  to escape my lips
to make those horrible sounds of truth
exist
i choked on the words,
i sputtered and coughed before i could even finish the sentence
he said "are you okay miss?"
as i bent over wheezing
i recovered,
i gestured to what i was wearing,
"this was my boyfriend's jean jacket."