I looked through all 182 pages of my life
but i couldn't find what i was looking for
All the pages that were about things I loved
That boy I loved
are now just sad memories of the past
and that one year when all my friends left
You were there
and helped me get through
but now I'm losing you
just like the rest of them
I tried to explain that one sick relationship
(if you could call it that)
and all I came up with was
I was stupid
however
I continue to make the same mistakes
maybe I am stupid
I saw the pages about that retreat I went on
Remember when I changed peoples lives?
Now that all means nothing
Now I'm just right where i started
Alone and sad
Awake in bed at night thinking
Where is that thing I am searching for?